Where can I meet friends of the opposite sex without anything physical involved?
Everyone wants a physical relationship, and when I turn them down, they leave.
I can’t make friends at work either, so where do you go to make friends?
I come to this message board whenever I feel lonely.
I only have a handful of friends, and they’re all the same gender as me. We see each other only a few times a year, if that.
Most of my social life revolves around work and my colleagues, and I find it very fulfilling, so I may not even feel the need to make friends.
It depends on what you’re hoping to achieve, but the girls I’m seeing seem to have male friends they’ve known since school or who share their hobbies.
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If you’ve managed to get this far without any friends, maybe you simply don’t need them. You don’t have to force yourself.
Besides, if you have two “best friends,” I’d say they aren’t really best friends.
Having even one person in your lifetime whom you can truly call your best friend is enough—in fact, that’s something special.
And I think it’s completely normal to have few or no friends.
> Where can I meet friends of the opposite sex without a physical relationship?
In my case, most of those friendships have been with girls I met at men’s esthetic salons. After seeing them once or twice at the salon, I’ve stayed in touch and met up with some of them privately for years—without any allowance and without a physical relationship.
Even if it’s been years since we last met, they’ll sometimes invite me out by saying, “Let’s go have dinner next month.” We share updates about our lives, I listen to their concerns, and so on. For some reason, even girls who live in Tokyo have happened to be back at their family homes when I contacted them, so we were able to meet. Friendships without a physical relationship aren’t bad either.
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>A friend of the opposite sex with no physical relationship
This is the part I find difficult to understand. I’d like to know why the friend has to be of the opposite sex, and why having a physical relationship would be a problem.
If they’re of the opposite sex, wouldn’t it still be possible to have a similar kind of relationship even if there were something physical?
Maybe it comes down to the reason they want a friend in the first place.
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I don’t have any friends, so around the New Year I tried posting on Jimoty, “Looking for female friends only!”
I exchanged LINE contacts with about ten people, but everyone kept saying it was because of COVID… None of them would meet up with me, and things just naturally fizzled out.
I think having friends of the opposite sex is just a fantasy.
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I don’t have many friends either. To begin with, once you’re working, I feel like what you really need are “comrades” and “rivals”—friends aren’t all that necessary.
The only people I’d genuinely call friends are probably my classmates from middle school, high school, and college.
I’ve found it even harder to make male friends since entering the workforce. If I’m even a little kind to men I meet in my personal life, they all start wanting a physical relationship. Sometimes even men I meet through work look at me sexually, don’t they?
There’s no way I could ever be friends with someone like that. Even when I sincerely see someone as a friend, the relationship eventually gets reduced to one where we’re just using each other—or being used. It’s sad, but especially when you’re young, I think that’s pretty normal.
Once you start working, it can feel like everyone around you is an enemy. I think keeping that kind of mindset actually helps you screen people more effectively, and you also get better at recognizing the places where you can truly feel at ease.
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I feel like it’s pretty difficult to make friends once you’re an adult. Maybe that’s because I don’t feel much need for it myself…
As many people have said, you might make friends through a hobby. But I do wonder whether something you take up specifically to make friends can really be called a hobby in the first place.
If there’s something you’ve been wanting to start, you might meet friends through it, but I think it’s best to begin without getting your hopes up too much.
It’s not like, as adults, people decide, “Let’s become friends!” I think it usually happens by chance, through some kind of connection.
Even through a dating club, there may be relationships where, even without anything physical, you enjoy talking to each other as friends.
So I think it’s best not to focus too much on wanting to make friends.
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In my case, my gaming buddies are definitely just friends.
I think it’s best to find people who share your hobbies.
P.S.
It’s true—you don’t really have any problems even if you don’t have friends. It’s different from being a student.
Rather than deliberately trying to make friends, I think you’re lucky if friendships happen naturally.
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As Kazu mentioned, taking up a hobby or attending classes can help you make friends who share your interests.
It seems like people on dating apps are only looking for something physical, so using them is just a waste of time.
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