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Apr 1, 2022 18:16
5 answers
Other
You may have no choice but to say you’re not feeling well…
I also occasionally hear from someone I used to see who eventually faded out of my life. He was a fairly gentlemanly person, but even when I turn him down gently, he doesn’t seem to notice at all. I suppose there’s not much you can do about that…
I don’t want to reject him outright and risk retaliation, so I feel like all I can do is keep being vague and politely dodge him.
いっつ・みぃ
Male
Send a reverse offer to this responder
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Other
Do you mean there’s usually some intimacy after the date, but occasionally you just want to say no?
Or do you mean you want to turn him down because you simply can’t see yourself being with that man, no matter how many times you go out?
In the former case, you could give various reasons, such as, “Sorry, I’m not feeling well today.” But in the latter case, how about being straightforward and saying:
“I don’t want to have that kind of relationship with you. If you’re okay with dinner only (no intimacy), I’d be happy to continue seeing you.”
That way, you can encourage him to back off on his own.
It’s me.
🏅 手コキ評論家
入会して8年。いまだ彷徨中です
Age: 60s
👨 Male
Universe member
There actually is a way to avoid making things awkward: make yourself the bad guy completely.
Try saying exactly what you really think, without sugarcoating it. The other person may get angry, but at least you won’t have to take your pants off, so things will work out… somehow?
When you say you don’t want to make things awkward, what you really mean is that you don’t want to get hurt, right?
Don’t you think that’s being a little too self-serving?
👨 Male
Universe member
It’s better to be straightforward.
I’ve had someone try to tell me something “gently” over email too, but I had no idea what she was getting at. I was thinking, “Why not just say it plainly?” lol.
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
By “a relationship afterward,” do you mean sex?
I don’t think there’s any convenient way to turn someone down clearly without causing offense.