I’m new to Univa. Until now, I’d only been doing papa-katsu through an app to kill time. I’ve supported several women, but my current favorite won’t become intimate with me very often. We meet four times a month, but all four meetings are dinner only, and she gently turns me down whenever I try to invite her to have an adult relationship. Even when we do have an adult relationship, once a month is about the most I can expect.
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She’s the type of woman who never wanted an adult relationship in the first place—what they call an A-type woman on Univa. Before me, she also had one other man, and apparently he gave her 20 for dinner once a month. They’re completely out of contact now.
I’m very possessive, so I suggested that if we were going to have an adult relationship every time, we should agree on a monthly allowance of 100, including the adult relationship, with the understanding that she wouldn’t turn me down whenever I wanted one. But she told me that having one every time would be painful for her.
For a woman like this, would it be better to set the allowance on a pay-per-meeting basis—for example, 5 for dinner only and 20 for an adult relationship? I’d really appreciate the opinions of experienced male members, as well as female members. Thank you.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
She apparently received 20 a month for dinner only.
I don’t really understand the idea of asking, “Should I set it at 5 for dinner and 20 for an adult relationship (intimate)?” when she had been receiving 20 for a single dinner.
I can imagine that the 5 for dinner is set lower than 20 because she wouldn’t feel like having an adult relationship (intimate) for the same amount, while still being enough that she wouldn’t think it wasn’t worth meeting. But if the previous person was giving her 20 for dinner only, then 20 for an adult relationship (intimate) doesn’t seem attractive at all.
If the difference between 5 and 20 is fourfold, then four times 20 would be 80.
Going by that logic, it seems like it should be 5 for dinner and 80 for an adult relationship (intimate).
Personally, though, I prefer a threefold difference, so I feel like 60—three times 20—would be better for the adult relationship (intimate).
If you like her and have the financial leeway, I think it would be fine to offer something in that range.
That said, if she’s still coming once a month for an adult relationship (intimate), maybe you could just leave things as they are.
You could also see other women while continuing to enjoy meeting her once a month.
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Do you really enjoy doing something you don’t want to do?
Maybe it’s better to keep it occasional so it doesn’t get boring.
Honestly, I’d recommend looking for someone else.
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> I suggested that we make a deal where she wouldn’t turn me down whenever I wanted something.
That’s a slavery contract.
Women have personalities, feelings, and pride. They’re real people with delicate physical and mental health.
I think this is an issue that comes before the allowance or the type of relationship.
No wonder she’d be offended and refuse an adult relationship under these terms.
Forget the allowance—do something about this slavery contract first.
Also, I can really sense this attitude in your post: “Anything goes as long as you pay enough.”
Unless you get rid of that attitude too, you’re going to keep struggling.
It’s me.
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You should end things and look for someone who’s comfortable with an adult relationship every time you meet.
Alternatively, offer 50,000 yen for a once-a-month dinner.
There are both women and men who don’t want to be pressured into an adult relationship or allowance for it every time they meet.
If you’re not okay with an adult relationship every time, it won’t work. You need to find a man who is.
Unless it only happens when the woman genuinely wants to, she’ll find it very uncomfortable spending time with you—even during your ordinary dates.
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If she’s Type A, wouldn’t it be a no-go no matter how much you offer?
Or does “it’s painful every time” mean she’d be okay with it only once in a while, and you’re trying to figure out an allowance for an adult relationship (intimate)?
Also, think carefully about whether she really means she’d accept the same allowance for an adult relationship as the dinner-only allowance you offered before.
Basically, the best thing to do is ask her directly.
Marika
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Perhaps you’re new to this and don’t realize it, but dating—or human feelings in general—can’t be controlled by money alone.
So there’s no set allowance that will guarantee she agrees to what you want.
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I’m not sure how much you’re currently offering her for dinner-only meetings, but if your previous arrangement was ¥200,000 a month for dinner only, then ¥1 million a month for several adult relationship meetings seems far too low.
She might agree to ¥1 million a month if that included one adult relationship meeting and three dinner-only meetings.
It sounds like this woman simply isn’t interested in an adult relationship, so I think you’d be better off meeting her for dinner only while looking for someone else. Then, just maybe, she might get jealous and say she’s willing to have an adult relationship with you after all.
I’m curious what kind of woman accepts ¥200,000 for dinner only.
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