It’s better not to mention that you have a boyfriend, right?
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I suppose men want to keep dreaming that even popular women might be single, but I think most of them actually have a boyfriend or husband.
I told several men who had said they wanted me to be honest about whether I was seeing someone, and the moment I admitted I was, they completely drifted away.
None of the other men I haven’t told have drifted away at all.
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂Not stated👑Universe female member
I’m honest about being married and having children, so I’d prefer my partner to be upfront about having a boyfriend—or being married herself.
Once everything’s out in the open, I think the two people involved can decide how they want to proceed. So I can’t agree with pretending not to have a boyfriend just to date a man who doesn’t want to be with women who do.
You could say that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is all about deceiving and being deceived, and that it’s only worth that much—but for me, a relationship where both people lie to and deceive each other would only be stressful.
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I think I’d rather you talk to me about it.
I see an allowance-based relationship and a boyfriend as two separate things. Still, I’d like you to stop seeing a different boyfriend every day—that’s dangerous.
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If you want to keep seeing a papa, why not decide whether to tell them based on the person?
Fuu actually feels more at ease when she has a boyfriend and other generous (well-paying) papas.
If they tell me, I’ll support them—for example, by making sure their schedules prioritize their boyfriends.
Apparently, Fuu is a good-luck charm for men (or so I like to think, lol). My monthly arrangement partners keep getting married.
I still occasionally see one of them even though she’s married. Another monthly arrangement partner—the one I’ve been seeing for nearly two years—is getting married soon. That relationship will be coming to an end.
I feel a little sad, but I’m also happy because I want her to be happy.
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I’m fine either way, lol.
If she tells me she doesn’t have a boyfriend, I’ll just go along with it, but I don’t pry or press her on it. Even if she does have one, I’m happy to play along with the kindness of her choosing to lie about it, haha.
If she tells me she does have a boyfriend, that’s fine too. I’m happy that it gives her a reason to see me, so I still enjoy it, lol. I don’t deliberately ask about her boyfriend, but I’ll respond appropriately if she brings him up.
If anything, I worry more about the boyfriend. There may be boyfriends who accept the existence of a papa, but if he finds out, the anger, jealousy, and despair would have hit me way too hard when I was younger, so I sympathize with him. Well, I don’t even know what he looks like, nor do I want to, so that’s about the extent of my sympathy, haha.
Still, it goes both ways. I’m married myself, so I can understand the kindness of not exposing each other and the feeling of taking it to the grave. When you can share that much, you become a powerful ally to each other, and the trust deepens.
That tension—the feeling that the relationship could end at any moment—might be what helps us value the reason for meeting, the purpose, and the time we spend together, haha.
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I think it depends on the person.
There are all kinds of men and women. If lying stresses you out, then you should see someone you don’t have to lie to. If lying doesn’t bother you, then I suppose you can lie whenever it’s convenient for you.
In the papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) market, it’s true that many arrangements work because most women want financial support regardless of whether they have a boyfriend or husband, while most men want to keep their fantasies alive.
There are exceptions, though, so seeing the other answers, I don’t think it’s easy to lump everyone together.
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I don’t think there’s any need to submit the same kind of question multiple times.
It seemed like your previous question had pretty much been resolved. Even if you didn’t feel that it had, sending similar questions repeatedly may make people think you’re just messing around, even when you’re genuinely asking for help.
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Since this has the same IP address as your previous question, is it the same woman?
From my experience, I get the impression that more papas (male supporters) welcome women who don’t have boyfriends. Or maybe I’m just the type who tends to be liked by those kinds of papas.
Personally, I might actually dislike being treated cautiously just because I have a boyfriend. I feel it’s harder to become close with someone when I’m in a relationship. Especially since I’m the type who would be happy if I could grow close to a papa-katsu man like we were a couple…
Also, I feel that men who say, “It’s totally fine if you have a boyfriend,” often want to maintain the attitude that they won’t seriously fall for a papa-katsu woman.
So my impression is that they tend to have a lot of women they’re seeing, whom they can replace at any time, and are also proactive about making new offers. The more women they’re involved with, the greater the risks, such as illness.
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I’m seeing a popular woman, though sometimes she has a boyfriend and sometimes she doesn’t.
She’s the woman I’ve been seeing the longest, and I don’t plan to end things with her just because she has a boyfriend.
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① Be honest about whether you have a boyfriend or not.
② Stick to the story that you’re single.
You’ll probably have to choose one or the other. Maybe try to handle it based on the kind of person you’re looking for.
I think you’ve probably met too few men so far. It may be a little premature to decide that it’s better to have no boyfriend based only on the people you’ve met up to now.
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It makes no sense to me that a grown-ass man would lose interest just because she has a boyfriend. Surely he doesn’t actually think he’s still that attractive as a man, does he?
I have no delusions about wanting to be seen as a man. I simply want to be seen and appreciated as a papa (a male supporter), so I’m perfectly fine with her having a boyfriend.
Her boyfriend and I aren’t even competing on the same playing field. I’m competing on financial strength alone, and there’s nothing shameful about that. I’ll gladly give her plenty of money.
I take great care with my appearance, I’m confident I’m in better shape than her boyfriend, and I don’t feel I’d lose to him in stamina—or in bed—but even taking all that into account, a middle-aged guy should just quietly focus on competing with his allowance.
I mean, if you take away a middle-aged man’s financial power, what’s really left? Women aren’t doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because they’re looking for a handsome guy; they’re doing it for the money. You need to properly meet their needs.
And if you really insist on competing as a “man,” that only comes after giving her a generous allowance.
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Kudos on the back-to-back posts.
I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. About half of the women I see regularly have told me they have boyfriends, but things have continued anyway. Sometimes I’ve actually known them longer than their boyfriends have（笑).
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