A question about the monthly allowance when we can’t meet.
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I’ve been seeing a woman for two years. Starting next month, I’ll be transferred for work and won’t be able to meet her every month. In that case, should I still give her the monthly allowance even if we can’t meet? She has chosen to see only me and wants to continue our relationship, but she hasn’t said anything about the allowance. It would be easy for her to end up struggling financially without my support.
However, we’ve been together for two years and have met every month, so I’ve never encountered an unusual situation like this or had to decide what to do about the monthly allowance when we can’t meet. I’d like to hear everyone’s opinions. Personally, I’d like to continue seeing her for a long time.
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂50s👑Universe male member
If she’s a really wonderful person, I’d even give her a ticket for ANA’s Premium Class, and the relationship could continue for six years or more.
Anywhere in Japan is practically just a two-hour flight away.
It all depends on how much I like her.
If she’s someone I want to support for the rest of her life, I’ll make sure she can take home the same amount. If not, we’ll part ways.
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If your transfer lasts a long time, you may need to switch to a pay-per-meeting arrangement—or there’s still a possibility that you’ll have to say goodbye.
Are you really the only person she’s seeing?
In your previous question, it sounded like there were several occasions when you offered to give her money even when you couldn’t meet, since you were on a monthly arrangement.
Why not try talking it over with her?
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Even when there aren’t special circumstances like a job transfer, if you continue giving her a set amount, she’ll come to trust you and stay with you for the long term.
When I couldn’t see my papa for nearly three months because of COVID, I was truly grateful that he treated me no differently than before, and it made me want to do even more for him.
This may sound harsh, but you shouldn’t casually enter into a monthly arrangement with someone if you feel, to begin with, that you don’t want to give her an allowance because you can’t meet often.
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If the reason you can no longer meet every month is the distance or the time it takes you to travel, why not have her come to your new posting, covering her transportation, accommodation, and other expenses, plus a daily allowance?
That way, you can continue seeing each other every month, while keeping the monthly allowance as it is. If ending the monthly arrangement would clearly leave her struggling financially, can you really consider any other option?
I think the fact that you want to keep seeing her badly enough to go that far will also come across to this important woman in your life.
— It’s me
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I only see each girl on a pay-per-meeting basis, but since we’ve agreed to meet at least once a month, I still give her one meeting’s allowance when we can’t meet.
Also, if we do meet but she’s on her period and can’t have an adult relationship (intimate), I give her the same amount as I would for an adult relationship.
I do this because they’re girls I’d like to continue seeing.
I don’t know how much your monthly arrangement is, but how about setting a minimum amount and switching to a pay-per-meeting arrangement?
For reference, she receives ¥100,000 per meeting.
Like you, I believe I’m the only one she sees, although she doesn’t seem to be struggling financially.
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If you want the relationship to last, you already know the answer, don’t you?
If you’re reluctant to do that because you’re thinking, “I don’t know about paying a monthly amount when we’re not even meeting,” then I think you shouldn’t have entered into a monthly arrangement in the first place. The woman may be counting on that allowance and end up in a difficult position.
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I think you should end the monthly arrangement for now and switch to a pay-per-meeting arrangement.
If you keep it monthly, it’s pretty obvious that he should still pay you even when you can’t meet.
Especially if you want to continue seeing each other in the future.
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