I know about the rule of paying transportation expenses upfront, but I’ve never followed it even once because it feels extremely awkward. Starting a relationship with an exchange of money is such a turnoff. So I don’t intend to do so in the future either. Of course, I always hand over the money before we part ways.

Maezawa would like to add a few points about what rules are. I found a page that explains rules, so I’ll quote it. “Rules” Rules that everyone taking part must follow. If they are not followed, there will be a penalty. Let’s apply this to a few examples. Take soccer, for instance. Rules that everyone participating in soccer must follow. If they are not followed, there will be a penalty. Soccer has a rule that says, “Do not touch the ball directly with your hands.” What happens if you break it? The opposing team is awarded a free kick as a penalty. There are also “the rules of basketball,” “the rules of baseball,” “the rules of sumo,” and “the rules of shogi.” In terms of the two points—“something that must be followed” and “being penalized if it is not followed”—we can see that the definition above applies to all of them. Everything we have applied it to is a contest or competition. The rules of competitions, especially sports, are extremely precise and strict. Why are they so precise and strict? “Rules developed and evolved rapidly in sports because ancient recreational sports involved betting. Most early competitions were held for the purpose of betting by nobles and ordinary people. As the excitement over which competitor to bet on grew more intense, the way the game was played gradually became more precise. This also led to disputes. As a result, rules developed, along with the system of refereeing.” The concept of rules probably originated in sports. The origins of sports rules lay precisely in the world of competition. If you won, you made money; if you lost, you suffered a major loss. It could even determine the life or death of those placing bets—and, of course, the competitors themselves. That is why sports rules come with the binding force of something that “must never be broken.” There is also an unavoidable penalty for breaking them. Now let’s apply this to a country. The “rules of a country” are its laws. For example, the Penal Code: “Article 204: A person who injures another person shall be punished by imprisonment for not more than 15 years or a fine of not more than 500,000 yen.” The specific conduct and the corresponding penalty are clearly stated. There is no need to explain at length why laws must be precise and strict. The primary reason is to maintain the country. Without laws, a country would collapse. What would happen if every person making up a country acted solely according to their own standards of value? What if people were allowed to “take whatever they wanted” or “hit anyone they disliked”? Situations like this have actually occurred many times in the past: towns turned into battlefields, towns where coups took place, and societies where people could get away with doing whatever they pleased. These are situations in which the government’s functions have weakened or come to a halt. A society where you must constantly watch your surroundings and protect yourself is frightening even to imagine. Governments created laws to guarantee the happiness of the majority of people in the country. Laws are, in a sense, guidelines for behavior when living in that country. Citizens decide how to act in accordance with the law. They also use the law to determine whether their own actions—or someone else’s—are right or wrong. Actions that deviate from the law are punished. Laws are the rules of a country. Just as in sports, there is a referee: the courts. The courts determine the nature and severity of the penalty. ① Rules must be followed. ② Breaking the rules results in a penalty. The second point in particular—that “rules come with penalties”—is important. That is the main reason junior high school students break school rules and run wild. Even if they violate school rules, they are not truly punished. They may be scolded or given guidance, but from their perspective, there is hardly any real downside. They know this. Apparently, the principal of a private junior high school said the following in a speech at the start of the new school year: “If you cannot follow the school rules, please go to another school.” “If you break the rules, you will no longer be able to remain at this school.” That is a severe penalty. Public junior high schools cannot do this. That is why students end up running wild. Teaching only that “rules are meant to be followed” is insufficient. In the end, it leaves the decision of whether to follow or break the rules up to each individual. Whether to follow or break the rules becomes a matter of personal morality. Because rules and morality are taught in a confused way, classes end up becoming unclear about what they are actually teaching. “Breaking the rules results in a penalty.” This should be properly taught from elementary school onward. So how should it be taught? The first thing that must be taught is the significance of rules. ① Rules exist for everyone who belongs to the group. ② Rules are created through the knowledge, experience, and effort of the participants. ③ Anyone who belongs to a group must follow its rules. ④ Anyone who fails to follow the rules will face a penalty.

Maezawa here as well. Maybe it’s because this is anonymous, but I’m surprised by how openly some people write that they don’t follow the rules. Rules are created because they’re necessary. Even if someone has what sounds like a perfectly reasonable justification—“I don’t follow the rules for this reason”—breaking the rules is still breaking the rules. Whether the rules are right or not, I don’t know. If enough people think they’re wrong, members will start leaving in droves and the club will decline. That’s why deciding to change the rules must have been difficult. After all, doing so could potentially cause the club to decline. But once the club has overcome that and established the rules—once they’ve been decided as the rules—members need to follow them. Breaking the rules isn’t acceptable. Following the rules isn’t merely an obligation to make an effort; it’s an actual obligation. (Even if it were only an obligation to make an effort, you’d still need to make that effort. For example, you’d at least need to try to pay the allowance upfront, even if the other person refused to accept it. If you do nothing, that means you haven’t made any effort, so you would still be failing to meet that obligation.) If you can’t follow the rules, then you can’t continue as a member. Breaking the rules is certainly nothing to brag about. If you can’t accept these regulations, you can simply leave. Of course, since the club doesn’t want you to quit, they may discuss the matter with you—or they may simply say, “Alright, then,” and let you go. As for what kind of discussion you would have with the club, that would probably depend on your track record and other factors, so I can’t really say.

I’m Joe, a columnist and male member. I know the representative and Mr. Zensetsu Papakata Gentleman have already given thorough answers, but I found this question interesting, so I thought I’d share my perspective as well. First of all, I completely understand how you feel. In my case, though, when I get drunk and have a great time, I sometimes forget to hand over the allowance without meaning any harm, so I generally give it in advance. I also feel that giving it beforehand can help ease a woman’s nerves, so I’ve come to think it has its benefits. You may already know this, but the club instructs female members: “If you receive the transportation allowance in advance, inform the male member and confirm the amount.” Personally, I’ve always found that much more off-putting and problematic. I’ve even written columns about the transportation allowance out of irritation (laughs). These days, though, even if a woman checks the amount right in front of me, I simply watch with a smile. My change in attitude was influenced by fellow columnist Mac and the opinions of a female member who commented on the column I mentioned earlier. This will get a bit long, but I’d like to share two stories involving transportation allowances. Story 1 This happened when I went on a date with a beautiful European woman—a glamorous lady who has since left the club. I had been told in advance that we would visit an art museum and then have dinner. I later learned that she came from the upper class of a certain European country. For her, an art museum was a formal social setting, so she showed up dressed impeccably. By that point, I had received some guidance from Mac: “The transportation allowance is really a tip by another name. Depending on the level of preparation and attentiveness, there’s no upper limit once it exceeds 5,000 yen.” So I put 10,000 yen in a small envelope beforehand (Sorry, Mac—I still use those envelopes), but before dinner I added more and handed it to her in the envelope (laughs). Story 2 The woman I recently went on a date with apparently had never received an offer from a man before, and she was visibly nervous. We decided to start with tea and exchanged brief introductions. She was a sweet—perhaps “adorable” is the better word—woman who said, “I’ve been looking forward to this so much that I’ve been nervous for the past three days.” I gave her the transportation allowance to help ease her nerves and anxiety. After thanking me, she checked the amount. In the past, that would have instantly killed the mood for me, but I simply watched with amusement. She was only sincerely following the club’s instructions and had absolutely no ill intent. After we parted following dinner, I gave her this advice: “You’re very earnest, so you checked the amount of the transportation allowance as the club instructed. But quite a few male members find that off-putting. Why not save checking the contents for when you get home and enjoy the surprise then?” I’ve gone on at length and ended up with an answer where it may not be entirely clear what I’m trying to say. My point is that, whether given before or after, the transportation allowance at Universe Club is a communication tool. This may sound presumptuous, but rather than stubbornly refusing to give it in advance, why not try giving it beforehand once?

Thank you for your question. I’m Kida, the club’s representative, and I’ll answer it. I understand your question as follows: If transportation money is handed to the woman immediately upon meeting, it makes the relationship feel disappointing because it starts with a financial transaction, so you would like to eliminate that rule. If the purpose is to deter men from failing to pay the transportation money, there are other ways to handle it—for example, the club could pay the woman in advance and collect the money from the man afterward. Is that an accurate understanding? Taking a slightly more cynical interpretation, could there also be this aspect? If other men hand over the transportation money upfront and women become accustomed to that, then a man who pays afterward may leave a bad impression. If everyone paid afterward, women shouldn’t have any particular problem with it. I found this a very interesting point. My interpretation is that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) brings men and women together at a date location with almost completely opposite objectives: for men, it’s 90% about simulated romance, while for women, it’s 90% about the expectation of earning income. So, from the woman’s perspective, receiving the money upfront, with no risk of missing out on the payment, is probably more reassuring. From the man’s perspective, having the unpleasant settlement process take place afterward may feel more reassuring because it helps preserve the atmosphere of simulated romance. That’s how I’ve interpreted it, at least. This brings us to the question of whose interests should take priority. In the end, we prioritize the woman’s side. I’ve thought about the reasons, and they are as follows: - Something unexpected happens during the date, it ends abruptly, and the woman misses out on the transportation money. - She has to explain the situation to the club, wait around, and go through a thoroughly unpleasant experience before finally receiving 5,000 yen—or possibly not receiving it at all. - She made time in her schedule, dressed up, paid for the train, and traveled to the date location, only to receive nothing—not even the minimum 5,000 yen. That would be a major blow. For women, 5,000 or 10,000 yen is a significant amount. - For men, the amount itself—5,000 or 10,000 yen—is generally not a major concern. - Instead, transportation-payment issues occasionally arise because of pride or simply because they “forgot.” Taking all this into account, we decided to prioritize the woman’s peace of mind over preserving the romantic atmosphere. I find the suggestion made by “壮絶パパ活紳士”—that the transportation money should be included in the offer fee and paid by the club—very appealing. Assuming there are no legal issues, the remaining questions would be how to handle the large volume of bank transfers and the accounting procedures. Gold Class: Setting fee 35,000 yen After the date: The club transfers 5,000 yen to the woman Platinum Class: Setting fee 60,000 yen After the date: The club transfers 10,000 yen to the woman I’ll check with our accounting department first. Thank you for such a wonderful question and for sharing your thoughts. Incidentally, what we call “transportation money” at our company is actually a “meal allowance” under the name of transportation money. So, technically speaking, we pay the woman a meal allowance; we do not pay transportation expenses—or they are considered included.