Tips Mar 19, 2022 19:39

What is generally considered an appropriate level of distance?

This content is machine-translated.
They don’t reply to my messages for about a week, don’t try to keep the conversation going during our dates, and turn down an adult relationship (intimate) with one excuse or another. That’s how I’m being treated. I’m not saying I absolutely want an adult relationship (intimate), but being rejected makes me feel really sad...
👤 Asked by Guest 👨GenderMale 🎂 40s 👑 Universe male member
💗 Likes 0 👁️ Views 58 💬 Answers 18
🔖 ID l1=sQ-00000 🎯 Looking for answers from 誰でも

9 answers

Fuu
🏅 パパ活歴7年目突入
彼氏/既婚/他パパ/セフレOK/全力応援
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
This sounds like a case where you should move on and make the next offer. I don’t understand why you haven’t ended things yet.
(3 replies left)
前澤(スタッフ)
前澤(スタッフ) Male Column Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe staff
I’m not sure what you’re struggling with, but if you make offers to women in dating types A or B, that can happen. So I think you’d be better off making offers to women in types C or D. If a beginner suddenly tries to climb Mount Everest (Chomolungma), they’ll only end up getting lost or stranded.
(3 replies left)
ダイ
A~Dまで一通りオファーの経験あり、多くても月1程度でLINEはスケジュール調整のみ、スマートに無理なく長期交際するスタイルです。
Age: 50s 👨 Male Universe member
As other respondents have said, that isn’t an appropriate level of distance. To me, maintaining an appropriate distance means having a relationship where neither person intrudes too deeply into the other’s private life.
(3 replies left)
だて◎ゆめ
👨 Male Universe member
Haha! Your situation sounds like you’re being kept at just the right distance. That means: - He doesn’t contact you so often that it becomes annoying. - Conversation during dates is lively and enjoyable. - When you think one adult relationship (intimate) encounter is enough, he suggests, “Shall we skip round two?”
(3 replies left)
To me, “keeping a healthy distance” means: - The woman doesn’t intrude into her papa’s family life. - The papa doesn’t interfere with changes in the woman’s lifestyle—such as marriage, getting a boyfriend, or relocating for work—and can send her off graciously. That’s about the extent of it. Unfortunately, in your case, he’s clearly taking you for granted, so I think you’d be better off ending things.
(3 replies left)
I feel like there’s a certain distance between you—or maybe a wall of some kind. Everyone has their own sense of personal space, and I think you and this woman simply couldn’t find a comfortable balance (>_<).
(3 replies left)
カズ
Age: Private 👨 Male Universe member
An appropriate level of distance is whatever feels comfortable for both people. In your case, though, it doesn’t seem like you’re comfortable with the situation, so it probably can’t be called an appropriate distance.
(3 replies left)
フラグメーカー
フラグメーカー Male Column Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 40歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現AI界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s 👨 Male Universe member
That’s what you’d call an amateur-looking papa-katsu girl—the kind of natural, non-professional vibe many people are looking for. She seems like a total amateur, which is perfect. That’s a true professional.
(3 replies left)
At the very least, I’d say they’re keeping you at quite a distance, rather than maintaining a healthy amount of space. It’s hard to define what a “normal” amount of distance is, but I’d say it’s when both of you communicate at a comfortable frequency, contribute equally to conversations during dates, and may have an adult relationship (intimate), while not interfering too much in each other’s lives—in other words, maintaining a relationship that is convenient for both of you, for better or worse.
(3 replies left)