I’m getting deeply caught up in the dating club scene. Because of time and financial constraints, I’m currently seeing just one woman, but I can’t stop thinking about her and our next date, even while I’m at work.
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We have a good relationship, but I don’t want to develop serious romantic feelings for her, so I’m trying not to think about her as much as possible. However, I just can’t seem to do it. Honestly, it’s painful.
To all of you with more experience, could you share any good advice or personal experiences that might help someone like me?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂30s👑Universe male member
I think it’s better to meet more frequently and get tired of each other sooner.
But once I get bored, I don’t want to sleep with her in the first place, so I stick to the agreed pace as much as possible.
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Why not ask them whether they’re just as emotionally invested?
If their answer is a good one and you’re both into each other, it’s fine to fall deeper and deeper—just don’t do it alone.
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I’m back on the Q&A box!
From the way you wrote your question, it sounds like you may already be falling for her…? (^○^)
I think it would be fine to cherish that woman, but you could also try making an offer to one more person.
If it were me, I’d devote myself to one person without showing my romantic feelings ♪
I’d have to keep myself in check so I don’t overthink things like, “I wonder what she’s doing right now?” and end up becoming a stalker!
Thinking about her might actually motivate me to work harder, though…
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I’m a bit of a poor man by dating-club standards too, so I only have one partner—but that’s just at first.
You probably haven’t even been seeing her for six months yet, have you…? After another year or two, your lifestyle will probably feel much the same as it did before you started dating her（笑）
In my case, I found myself thinking, “Maybe I’d like to make an offer to another woman too”（笑）
Even if you’re currently her only partner, once you’ve been seeing each other for more than a year, the relationship will become much more firmly established. After two or three years, she’ll start to feel almost like a mistress, and your role will become giving her a fixed monthly allowance, listening to her worries, and hearing her vent about work（笑）
I listen with interest, thinking about how young women have all sorts of challenges to deal with, and remembering what I was like when I was young.
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I’m not really sure why you want to get out of your current situation, so perhaps it’s fine to leave things as they are. You mentioned that it’s difficult, but I wasn’t sure exactly what you find difficult.
If it starts interfering with your work, you may no longer be able to continue with your activities, so I think you can deal with it when that happens.
In my case, of course I like the women I’m seeing, but apparently I love my work and myself even more. That may be why I’m never unable to focus on my job.
The women I’m seeing fulfill various desires of mine, which probably helps me concentrate on work as well. In return, I want to give them something back.
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What are you even talking about?
You’re engaging within the limits of your time and finances, aren’t you? Ask questions after you’ve gone beyond those limits.
And honestly, I’m far more concerned by grown adults using brain-dead expressions like “getting sucked into the rabbit hole.” Being so preoccupied with her that you can’t focus on work seems perfectly human to me.
Go to Eiheiji Temple and practice zazen!
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Even though I’m fortunate enough to be seeing several stunningly beautiful women, I can’t get emotionally invested in any of them at all. Compared to me, your current situation is almost enviable.
I want to get completely swept up in someone.
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