I really don’t understand what older men mean when they say, “Let’s both just relax and be ourselves.”
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Just meeting a strange older man one-on-one puts me on maximum alert, and while pretending to be natural so he doesn’t notice, I have to read his words and actions, satisfy him through communication, and draw out his affection. There’s nothing “natural and relaxed” about that at all.
The moment they think, “I feel that way, so they must feel the same,” they really seem like the quintessential older man.
Do older men genuinely feel comfortable with the women they approach, feel relaxed when they’re together, or think, “She must have a good impression of me too”??
Don’t they feel any guilt or self-consciousness about that?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
Wow. Maybe they don’t realize because you’re so good at pretending that you fool them completely.
Don’t push yourself. If you show your true self, your papa may feel bad and guilty, and I think he’ll let you go.
You sound like you’re struggling, so stop pretending and move forward as your authentic self.
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I think he means he’d like you two to get closer and enjoy yourselves naturally, so that makes me happy too♪ (*^^*)
You’ll probably be extremely nervous at first, so any male member who says something like that is likely a good person〜!
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It literally means “as much as possible.”
I’m guessing you met him through an app? In that case, you really don’t know anything about the person’s background…
With a club, you’re dealing with men whose backgrounds are known to some extent, so many women feel safer for that reason.
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Ah, what you’re describing is extremely unnatural. As long as you keep trying in that direction, you’ll probably never figure it out.
Isn’t it only natural to be extremely wary when meeting a stranger? You still want the money and hope to continue seeing him, so you’re making all sorts of efforts, right? That’s what it looks like to be genuine. I think it’s a mistake for an inexperienced woman who hasn’t been trained in the nightlife industry to try to adjust herself to every man. It’s too transparent. An amateur’s strength is simply being herself. Nothing more, nothing less.
Some people can do it, and the odds aren’t particularly low. On the other hand, there are also quite a few women who want to put on an act. Those women won’t change. From a man’s perspective, the surest way to find someone good is to make lots of offers and narrow down the choices.
Taro
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When a man says, “Let’s both feel comfortable and be ourselves,” it’s about the same as saying “I look forward to working with you” in a business email.
He’s not forcing you to relax and act natural. I think the nuance is more like:
“I hope we can build a good relationship from here on. I’ll be mindful of the things I need to be mindful of, so I’d be happy if you could open up to me as much as possible, too.”
So if it were me, and a man said, “Let’s both feel comfortable and be ourselves,” I’d take it to mean that’s the kind of relationship he wants, and I’d try to act as naturally as possible—maybe mixing in a little casual speech here and there.
Some papas prefer women to use polite, formal language, so I’d assume he’s a different type.
I think it can actually be fun if you view even the most casual comment as a treasure trove of clues about what a papa wants from a woman—or what he really thinks.
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I assume they understand that, with the allowance in mind, this is probably about what to expect.
If you’re getting worked up over something as simple as “let’s keep things easygoing and natural for both of us,” then dating through an exclusive dating club probably isn’t for you.
It’s not something you have to do, so if it’s stressful, I think you’re better off not doing it.
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