Kida, one of our staff members, will answer this.
Thank you very much for such a thoughtful question.
I don’t think the amount is unreasonable either.
As for reducing the allowance during a trip, this is purely speculation on my part, but I think women generally fall into two categories:
Women who feel emotionally connected to the man:
“I feel bad making him spend so much on the trip, so if he’s taking me somewhere nice, I don’t really need an allowance. Let me indulge a little ❤️”
Women who approach it more like work:
Two nights and three days = 24 hours × 2 × allowance = ¥2.4 million
¥400,000 goodwill discount = ¥2 million, excluding expenses
I think that’s probably the difference.
The downside of the former is that, since she doesn’t view it as work, she may not be willing to do anything if she isn’t in the mood.
The downside of the latter is that it’s expensive.
I imagine you already understand all this, so regarding the negotiation:
Based on something I heard before on the members-only forum, “You should negotiate before parting ways.”
Apparently, quite a few women think:
“He’ll spend money on hotels, flights, and restaurants like water, but he’s stingy with me?”
Women may have things they want to buy or events they want to attend that month, and naturally, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) can be a way to fund those things. In such cases, some women may think, “The trip could just be to a nearby park—please put the travel expenses and other costs toward my allowance instead.”
But apparently, there are also quite a few women who feel the exact opposite. I used to think women like that were only a fantasy.
I hope your partner is the kind of woman who values creating wonderful memories together on a trip.
I’m a former Universe member.
I’ve also traveled with female members, so I hope my experience is helpful.
Considering these three points:
1. You’re going on a trip together
2. This will be your first adult relationship (intimate)
3. You’ve prepared a luxurious hotel and other arrangements in advance for that purpose
I feel that negotiating over the allowance could put a damper on the trip itself.
If I were in your position, I’d go without forgetting that she’s “coming along on my trip.” Perhaps you could think of the luxurious accommodations and delicious meals as preparation and an added touch for your first adult relationship.
Rather than focusing on the money, why not look at it from the perspective of how the two of you can enjoy the trip together? Enjoying the trip to the very end may be better than reducing the allowance by a few tens of thousands of yen.
That said, I completely understand feeling concerned that making the first time this lavish could set a difficult precedent afterward.
So, if you meet someone new in the future and are considering an adult relationship (intimate) on the first meeting, perhaps you could consider the classic plan of going from the hotel restaurant to a room at the same hotel.
After seeing each other a few more times, you might be able to enjoy a trip together more comfortably, without feeling so much pressure.
Incidentally, I once asked a woman before a trip, “Since I’m covering all the travel expenses—transportation, accommodations, and meals—would you be okay with no allowance this time?” She replied, “What? (angrily) That’s not what we agreed on.”
So there may not be many women who will accept the idea that there’s no allowance simply because it’s a trip.
(Perhaps handling that smoothly is part of being a gentleman...)
Here’s another resource on allowances that may be useful:
How much do women receive? Interview survey on average allowance rates
https://www.dateclub.or.jp/blog/money002
