My papa told me, “I broke things off with the previous woman because seeing each other too often felt burdensome. I prefer meeting about once a month—enough to make me think, ‘I’m starting to miss her.’ Arrangements based on a sense of obligation don’t last.”

Question

Do men really feel that way? Or is he only seeing me once a month because he has other women as well? We’re going to have an adult relationship (intimate) next time, but I want to continue seeing this papa, so should I avoid saying things that are too affectionate, like that I like him or that he’s kind? I’m sorry for asking so many questions. Thank you in advance.

Answer 1

Seattle. If he’s local and only wants a short meeting—not an overnight stay—then either you’re about number ten on his list of priorities, or he’s broke. One of the two. Let’s look for someone better.

Answer 2

I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer this too. I’m not sure why, but I think it’s probably their way of saying they’d like to meet about once a month. It sounds like they’ve simply come up with various plausible reasons to justify that. > I want to continue seeing this papa, so should I avoid saying things like that I’m fond of him, like him, or think he’s kind? I think you should say those things. That said, overdoing it could have the opposite effect, so it’s probably best to express your feelings without going too far.

Answer 3

This is Kida, the representative. Have a little more confidence in yourself. I don’t know what that papa is thinking, but shouldn’t you be living your own life? The fact that he keeps bringing up the woman before you—doesn’t that mean he’s trying to control you? You know papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is supposed to be an equal relationship, right? No matter what that shitty papa says, don’t sacrifice your own feelings. If you keep being a woman who stays confident and continues striving, you can downgrade a man like that to someone you graciously agree to see once a year. Compared to that old man, who probably doesn’t have much fun left in his life, you still have plenty of good things ahead of you—as long as you keep your head up.

Answer 4

I’m Dai, a male member. I do assume that when someone says they like you when you’ve barely just met, they probably say the same thing to other people too. It doesn’t really bother me, though lol. “Like” and “kind” are words I’d want someone to say only when they genuinely mean them. By the way, just like that papa (a male supporter), I also prefer an arrangement about once a month. I’m not looking for a serious romantic relationship, so if it turned into seeing each other every week, I’d definitely get bored. Of course, I’m seeing other women too, so if you want to continue things with your papa, I don’t think you should ask him to see only you.

Answer 5

I’m Aya, a female member. I feel like there are quite a few men like that. Maybe their desire and emotional attachment toward a particular woman just happens to come around once a month. I do think he could’ve kept that to himself, though. But maybe he’s the kind of man who wants a relationship with a papa-katsu woman that keeps things separate from the usual arrangement from the very beginning. I seem to remember that my papa had several women on monthly arrangements like that when I first met him three years ago. By the way, there are also quite a few women who can say, “I like you, Mr. ○○~” with the same energy as “This is so cute!”—the type who simply enjoys complimenting people. But if you casually tell a man you “like” him, he may misunderstand you, for better or worse. He might mistake it for something serious when you didn’t mean it that way, or, conversely, think, “There’s no way she really likes me,” even when you actually do like him quite a bit. So with that papa, it might be better to avoid expressing affection too casually.

Answer 6

I’m Kazu, a male member. Just like women, every man has a different personality and sense of compatibility. So I don’t think it’s helpful to generalize and say, “Men are like this.” There may be other women too, but there’s no point in reading too much into it. It sounds like this man is looking for someone he can meet about once a month. Whether or not to say things like “I like you” or “You’re kind” also depends on the person. Speaking for myself, I think it’s extremely rare for a woman to genuinely like someone she’s just met through a dating club. So when a woman tells me she likes me, I either assume she’s a terrible liar, mistakenly thinks saying that will make a man happy, or is simply the unusual type who can fall for a man after only meeting him a few times—and I’m immediately put off. I don’t find “You’re kind” strange, though.

My papa told me, “I broke things off with the previous woman because seeing each other too often felt burdensome. I prefer meeting about once a month—enough to make me think, ‘I’m starting to miss her.’ Arrangements based on a sense of obligation don’t last.”

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My papa told me, “I broke things off with the previous woman because seeing each other too often felt burdensome. I prefer meeting about once a month—enough to make me think, ‘I’m starting to miss her.’ Arrangements based on a sense of obligation don’t last.”

6 answers

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