Men in their 60s are grandpas, right? From a woman in her 20s’ perspective, they don’t look like they’re just from our parents’ generation—they look like grandpas, plain and simple.
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No matter how much a man in his 60s tries to look youthful with anti-aging treatments, he still just looks like an unnatural-looking 60-something grandpa trying too hard to look young. I’ve never seen someone in their 60s who actually looked like they were in their 50s.
Even men in their 40s and 50s look like old men or middle-aged guys. A lot of men in their 40s seem to mistakenly think they’re young, but from where I’m standing, they’re just middle-aged guys considerably older than me.
So what does it mean when people say, “Papa-katsu isn’t something you should force yourself to do,” even though you’re dealing with men like that?
I think every girl is forcing herself to some extent.
I’m Kida, the representative.
Well, look at you—every once in a while, you actually say something worthwhile.
Have you finally realized that this isn’t a place for piss-smelling brats who can’t even support themselves?
You think it’s unnatural when old guys try to look younger?
They’ve raised their kids well, secured their companies, given their wives every comfort, maybe even supported three mistresses, scattered their wealth after they died, paid a thousand times more in taxes than you do every year, and created jobs.
And after all that, the old guys trying to look young?
I love it.
It’s got character.
And if they can still get it up, what more could you ask for?
Those old guys are miles ahead of me—they’re my ultimate role models.
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It’s Joe.
I completely understand where you’re coming from. When I was in my 20s, I also thought anyone over 60 was just an old geezer or granny. And I can see why you feel that women in their 20s who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) are probably forcing themselves to some extent. Still, even if they’re receiving an allowance, there’s a limit to how much you can force yourself. If it continues for a long time, I feel there must be some reason outweighing that discomfort—I’d like to believe it’s not just about the money.
I feel a little awkward using myself as an example, but I’m currently practically living with Shii-chan, who’s in her 20s. I can’t exactly say this out loud, but I’m actually the one forcing myself here (lol). I’ve been gently suggesting, “Maybe it’s about time you went back home,” but when she turns me down with a huge smile, I can’t bring myself to push any harder.
Since you say you’re forcing yourself too, I understand how you feel—as someone in the same boat! Haha.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
There are probably difficult aspects to dating older men or elderly men. If you don’t feel the allowance is worth it, though,
I don’t see any real solution other than saying: don’t force yourself to do papa-katsu. Just work for yourself instead.
There are plenty of women willing to date and spend time with men—whether they’re middle-aged or elderly—for the allowance, so if it’s not for you, it’s perfectly fine to step away.
I’m grateful to the women who are willing to spend time with them.
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I’m Rin, a female member of SALON.
If you absolutely need the money, you may have no choice but to push yourself. But if you’re doing this simply to enjoy some luxuries, wouldn’t it be better not to force yourself and only date men you’d be comfortable seeing at your age? That’s how I feel, anyway.
I think there are plenty of wonderful men in their 60s. It’s not just about their looks—they may have a certain aura that comes from their wealth of life experience, as well as confidence and masculinity.
Why not look for the good qualities in each person and date them based on that? I think you’d both be happier that way.
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I’m “Loser Man,” aka the short, fat, bald, ugly old guy.
I think most PJs probably feel the same way you do. You’re likely doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) because you need the money, even if it means forcing yourself through it.
That said, I also think you’re missing out on a huge opportunity.
Just hypothetically—if you can see a man more than 20 years older, or an old man more than 30 years older, as a potential romantic partner, you could “secure your life,” just like my ace has.
It’s clear that my ace genuinely sees me as a man, so in return, I effectively give her ¥100,000 for each adult relationship (intimate). I recently discovered that I’d miscalculated—it was ¥100,000, not ¥50,000. On top of that, I started a company in which she is the sole shareholder, and I’m diligently building up its retained earnings.
Money will continue accumulating every month until I die. After taxes, the cash she receives from me will easily exceed ¥100 million. And that’s not all—I’m also thoroughly teaching her how to earn money so she’ll be fine even after I’m gone.
¥100 million isn’t an especially large amount of savings, but the ability to earn money lasts a lifetime. That’s what I’m giving her. She’s diligent, so I’m sure she’ll make good use of it.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with rejecting old men. It’s simply a fact, and if someone is a physiological turnoff, they’re a physiological turnoff. Still, I think it’s worth keeping in mind that you may also be passing up a major opportunity at the same time.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Simply put, the questioner just isn’t attracted to older men.
But an arrangement can’t work when the woman feels like she’s doing the older man a favor by dating him.
Don’t you think it’s the same as when an older man’s arrangement doesn’t work because he feels he’s doing her a favor by giving her money?
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When I was in second grade, the president of one of my father’s subcontractors, who was in his thirties, often came over to our house and was very kind to me. I liked him.
Of course, it wasn’t romantic—I simply saw him as a kind older man who played with me a lot.
When I became a university student, I traveled alone to the area where he lived. Remembering him, I went to visit him. I was 22 at the time, and I think he was around 45.
That led to him often inviting me to visit, covering my airfare, and us entering into a relationship that also became intimate. I genuinely liked him.
It doesn’t seem like you’re the kind of person who would fall for someone older, does it?
That’s why I’m saying that people like you don’t need to force themselves to do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
There must be people like me who have always fallen in love with older men.
Thinking that every girl is forcing herself is simply your misunderstanding.
Marika
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papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) should be about relieving stress within reason and having a good time—papa-raku-katsu, you could say.
If you’re just forcing yourself through it and carrying stress like it’s a job, that’s papa-ku-gyō-katsu.
That’s all it really is…
And ideally, a papa (a male supporter) should be giving an allowance to a woman who’s vibrant and enjoying herself…
—Paper Airplane
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