What’s the difference between doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) through apps or social media and using a dating club?

Ueda here. On apps, everything is self-reported and there’s no intermediary involved. With a dating club, however, staff facilitate the introductions, so it’s not really possible to misrepresent your identity or background. You may feel more comfortable using a dating club.

Kida here with an answer. There’s almost no difference. With apps, you can probably sign up more casually since there’s no interview. Also, at a dating club, women generally can’t make much of the first move. Since apps are essentially dating platforms, women can message men directly. I imagine most dating-club users have tried papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) apps. More than half may still be using them. Even the former governor of Niigata was using Wakuwaku Mail for papa-katsu. People often say dating clubs are safer, but once you’ve gone into a hotel, either way, things can be dangerous. So what’s the difference? The likelihood of finding a good match. Meeting someone is a constant process of feeling each other out. You’re navigating the gap between what people really think and what they say, with money involved on top of that. You don’t even know the going rates, and you don’t want to be cheated. Both sides have their own strategies, and because you don’t share any mutual acquaintances, someone can act unethically and simply disappear with no consequences. For most people, repeating this kind of experience is exhausting. You either become jaded or overly suspicious—neither is exactly a positive outcome. Each introduction through a dating club is fully customized. They measure everything—arm length, neck size, overall height—and make a perfectly fitted suit from high-quality fabric. Some people fit perfectly into off-the-rack clothes, and that’s fine. Others may prefer semi-custom or made-to-measure. It depends on the person. Meeting people through social media is like searching through inexpensive off-the-rack clothes for something that fits just right. You quickly get bored, so you start searching again. Meeting someone through a dating club is fully customized, with the introduction carefully arranged so you can meet someone who’s a great fit. It comes down to the likelihood of finding a truly compatible match. I think both have their advantages, so try both and let me know what you think.

There’s hardly any difference. Since apps don’t require an interview, they’re probably easier to sign up for. Also, at a dating club, women generally can’t approach men as freely. With an app, since it’s essentially a dating service, women can message men directly. I imagine most dating-club users have tried papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) apps at some point. More than half may still be using them. Even the former governor of Niigata used Wakuwaku Mail for papa-katsu. People often say dating clubs are safer, but once you’re in a hotel, either way, you’re in a potentially dangerous situation. So what’s the difference? It’s the likelihood of finding the right match. Meeting people of the opposite sex is a constant game of feeling each other out. You’re navigating the gap between what people really mean and what they say, with money involved as well. You often don’t even know the going rates. You don’t want to get taken advantage of. Both sides have their own strategies, and since you usually don’t have mutual acquaintances, someone can act dishonestly and simply disappear with no consequences. For an ordinary person, repeating this kind of experience can be exhausting. You either become jaded or overly suspicious—neither is particularly positive. At a dating club, each introduction is fully customized. They measure everything—the length of your arms, the thickness of your neck, your height—and tailor a perfectly fitting suit from high-quality fabric. Some people fit perfectly into off-the-rack options, while others do better with made-to-measure or semi-custom arrangements. It depends on the individual. Meeting people through social media is like searching through cheap off-the-rack suits for one that fits. You get bored quickly, so you start searching again. Meeting people through a dating club is a fully customized process, carefully arranged to help you meet someone who’s a perfect fit. It’s really about the likelihood of finding the right connection. I think both options have their advantages, so try both and let us know what you think.