Why don’t men who can only meet once a month just go to a sex-work establishment? Wouldn’t it be cheaper to find a favorite provider there?
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People who meet several times a month don’t just go on intimate dates—they also go on regular dates, so it’s not necessarily just a physical relationship. But if they only meet once a month, isn’t it almost 100% a physical relationship? (Though I’m sure some arrangements don’t involve an adult relationship.)
Besides, if they meet, chat for a bit, and then have sex, I don’t think they can become that close. It would be different if they were always chatting on LINE, but there probably aren’t many people with enough free time to send long messages every day to someone they can only meet once a month.
From the woman’s perspective, I imagine he’s basically just a monthly source of spending money and a way to kill time. But from the man’s perspective, what benefit is there in paying a lot of money when he can’t really build a deeper relationship—not just a physical one—with her? Wouldn’t he be better off visiting his favorite provider repeatedly instead? Even if the provider says she doesn’t want that, I assume the woman he only meets once a month is dating multiple men because she couldn’t make a living from that alone, so it doesn’t seem all that different to me.
I’m column writer Fuu.
I’m seeing a girl once a month, and it’s far better than going to a sex-service establishment. I no longer feel satisfied by those places, so I stopped going.
Things don’t feel transactional, and we get along well when we’re together. I’m grateful to my ongoing partners who make sure I’m satisfied!
It seems once a month is just right for Fuu’s ongoing partners. I haven’t pried too deeply, so this is just my guess, but they have jobs, boyfriends, and apparently other papas as well. If we met more often, it would probably become a burden for them.
Of the three basic human needs—food, sex, and sleep—we satisfy each other’s needs（笑). In Fuu’s case, we use a city hotel, so after our adult relationship, my ongoing partners take a nice, sound nap. They say the Simmons beds are really comfortable.
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I’m Nana Ayase ☆
With people in the sex industry or nightlife clubs, it feels more like you’re just renting a hole—there’s no emotional connection, and as long as they look good, that’s enough.
With an escort dating club, you can have a relationship with at least some genuine feelings. Of course, if you both like each other, you’re expected to provide an allowance, but an adult relationship is also possible.
Are you around 18 years old?
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this as well.
I think it’s because even if you only see each other once a month, a compensated dating partner is completely different from a sex worker.
It’s not about one being better than the other. Even if they may look similar at first glance, men see them as entirely different.
Some people like sex workers, while others prefer dating clubs.
I think that’s simply how it comes down.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I never cheated when I was married, so my wife was the only woman I’d ever been with.
After we divorced, it was as if the restraints came off, and I became hooked on escort services. At the time, my goal was simply to spend time with as many women as possible.
At my busiest, I’d book two women in a single day and see around 10 to 20 women a month.
But honestly, I eventually got tired of it being just about intimacy.
These days, I’m seeing several women I met through Universe at the same time. I usually see each woman about once a month, and the main reason is that pace keeps me from getting bored.
Lately, our dates tend to follow the same pattern: we’re intimate at a hotel, order room service while enjoying some good sake, or eat cakes we’ve picked up, then relax and catch up on what’s been going on in our lives…
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I’m Mac, a male member.
I’ve honestly never been to a brothel, so I wouldn’t know. As long as I can meet a woman and have sex, I’m fine with anything—but doesn’t “papa-katsu papa” sound just a little better than a guy who frequents brothels?
I don’t think the cost is all that different. Though, what do I know?
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member who gets treated like the leftover-food disposal guy—even while traveling, my “daughter” feeds me her half-eaten food like it’s pet food, saying, “Here, deal with the leftovers!”
I think the questioner’s points are largely accurate. In particular, it’s perfectly natural for women to see things that way.
Men understand that, too, but:
> What’s the benefit of handing over that much money?
If you put it on a scale, regular sex work is as close to 0 points as you can get, while a club is as close to 100 as possible. That’s how big the difference is—they’re practically entirely different things. Depending on the circumstances, it can even surpass a romantic relationship.
> In that case, wouldn’t it be better to keep visiting your favorite sex worker?
I don’t keep going back, but if things develop into private dates without money changing hands—that is, a relationship where I no longer visit the establishment—it can sometimes be just as fulfilling as, or even more fulfilling than, a club arrangement. But as long as you’re simply paying to keep going back, there’s very little appeal.
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I have a papa (a male supporter) whom I can only see once a month or less, but I feel a real emotional connection with him. Even though we only hug and kiss after dinner, he makes me feel truly cherished.
You can’t have dates like this at adult entertainment establishments, can you?
Marika
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Some men may visit sex workers, but I prefer having a monthly partner to going to a brothel. Besides, if you had several monthly partners, you wouldn’t have any time left to visit one anyway… (笑)
> What’s the benefit of giving someone that much money?
I think that kind of relationship is generally called a casual arrangement. And judging by the posts on this Q&A site, it seems that not only men but also some women are looking for multiple partners. (笑)
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Because escort services and dating are two different things. Escort services are sexual services, while dating is dating. So for men seeking a relationship, escort services aren’t a substitute.
For a working woman with a job, I think having two or three papas (male supporters) on a monthly arrangement could be more than enough.
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