For first meetings, I usually suggest coffee at a hotel lounge for about 30 minutes to 1.5 hours. Is that a problem? From a woman’s perspective, would a restaurant be preferable?

I’m BB7, a male member. I suppose it depends on the time. If you go to a city hotel lounge around 2 or 3 p.m., you’ll see quite a few couples who look like they’re in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).

I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member. I’ve only met three people in person, and all of the meetings were at private rooms in restaurants. Everyone wears masks because of COVID these days, but you can’t drink tea while keeping your mask on. I don’t really want to take mine off in front of everyone else... lol It’s a simple reason, haha.

I’m Nana Ayase ♡ I think it depends on what time we meet. If we met at 12 and he suggested just a café… I’d be like, “Wait, what?”

If you’re meeting at 3:00 p.m., I don’t think there’s any problem with that. But if you selected “Please come hungry” on that template and then did this, you might pass out from low blood sugar during the encounter. I think it would be best to let them know in advance. Marika

Maezawa from the president’s office here as well. There’s no rule saying that coffee or tea isn’t allowed. However, we do receive complaints from women, so our stance is basically: go ahead if you’re confident you won’t receive any complaints. But first of all, what exactly is your goal? If you want to get to know a woman and build a connection, you should think carefully about why so many people choose to meet for a meal. Women can’t see men’s photos, and in many cases, they don’t even know their height or weight. (They can see those details if they’re listed now that the male profile feature is available.) Men make offers after viewing women’s detailed profiles, but women can’t do the same. If you keep that in mind, then unless you have some special ability to instantly put someone at ease, your first priority should be building rapport. You haven’t even gotten out of the negative until she feels comfortable with you. Then you still need her to take a liking to you. Given that, aside from men with exceptional social skills—or men who offer an extremely high allowance—most people probably need to build rapport over a meal. Of course, you could start with coffee or tea, go to a hotel afterward, and then take her out for a meal. But I suspect you weren’t planning to take her out to eat at all. If you’re thinking about seeing her again, it should be obvious what you need to do. Were you only after something physical that day? Or did you want to meet a nice woman and build a long-term relationship with her? You should think that through carefully. Men probably don’t realize this, but women often give poor reviews to men who meet for coffee or tea instead of a meal. The reason they don’t realize it is that the staff don’t tell them. If we did, they’d say things like, “What’s wrong with coffee or tea? Is there a rule against it?” So we simply don’t bring it up. They end up getting poor reviews from women without anyone telling them—like the emperor with no clothes.

I’m Fuu, a column writer. In my case, I make Type C offers, so I discuss the terms for dating and intimacy at the end of the meal. Since it would be awkward if anyone nearby overheard us, I always book a private room for the first meeting. I choose a private-room restaurant that matches the female member’s preferred cuisine listed in her profile. From the second meeting onward, I may choose more open settings, but I’m still conscious of being overheard, so I ask the restaurant for a seat as out of the way as possible. A spacious, uncrowded lounge can work in a pinch, but if I imagine a group of ladies sitting at the next table, timid old Fuu just can’t bring himself to discuss the terms there. So I avoid lounges for the first meeting and only use them from the second meeting onward.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I think it depends on the woman’s preferences and the time of day. However, I don’t think hotel lounges are very well received, since there are usually other people around.