What do you do if you’re disappointed the moment you meet at the meeting spot for the first meeting because they look different from what you imagined?
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I mean those times when you think, “With this appearance, I just can’t see myself pursuing an arrangement, even if the other terms are good.”
Honestly, there are times when I think it would be better to pay twice the transportation costs and save the time and money spent at the restaurant.
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
It’s fairly common for someone to be different from what you imagined after making an offer. I wouldn’t try to shorten the meeting by offering a higher allowance.
The woman who accepted the offer has also taken the time to prepare and come meet me, so canceling just because of my own convenience would be rude. Even if her appearance is different from what I expected, she might turn out to be better than expected in terms of personality. I think it’s too soon to judge someone based on looks alone.
If it seemed like she’d gained more than 10 kilos since taking her profile photo, I’d still talk with her at the time, but I’d probably report to the club that her appearance was very different from her photos. (Haha.) I wonder if this kind of thing actually happens.
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I’m Fuu, a columnist.
I have been disappointed by someone’s personality or attitude after meeting them, but I’m lucky that I carefully check people’s looks through their profiles beforehand. Also, the profile photos on Universe aren’t heavily edited, so I often find them prettier or cuter in person than in their pictures.
Since I’m an adult, even when I’m disappointed by someone’s personality or attitude, I can still enjoy the meal and get through it smoothly—there just won’t be a second meeting.
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Have you ever considered how disappointing this can be from the woman’s perspective?
Women often don’t even look closely at the photos. Most women would probably still respond with a smile.
Please stop thinking that paying an allowance gives you the right to say whatever you want. Whether it’s your first dinner or coffee meeting, basic courtesy is still expected. After that, you’re free to decide whether you want to continue seeing her and what you think of the reasons involved.
In your case, though, it sounds like you might show your disappointment through your attitude or even say it outright, so please don’t do that. Most people wouldn’t say such things, but you seem like someone who might not understand unless it’s spelled out.
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Since I choose who to make offers to, there have been times when I was disappointed because someone looked different from what I’d imagined. But I’ve never thought, “With this appearance, even if her other terms are good, there’s no way I’d want to date her.”
Do people feel that way after meeting women whose profile photos are blurred or don’t show their faces? I’ve occasionally thought that I didn’t like someone’s smile, or that the photo was so overexposed that her skin looked better than it actually was. Still, I figured she might be fun to talk to, so I’d have dinner with her first and see how it went.
There was only one time when I found someone’s personality unpleasant enough that I wanted to leave as soon as possible. We actually wrapped things up and parted ways after about 30 minutes.
I hear many male members don’t have profile photos, so perhaps women often feel that way about men.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here.
The other person is human too. If you look at it that way, even if you want to save money on the restaurant and your time, I think it’s only natural to spend some time together.
If you didn’t tell her in advance that it would be dinner, you could suddenly switch to a café, chat over tea, and then part ways after giving her the ¥5,000–¥10,000 set by the Universe Club rules.
That way, you’d be showing some consideration for her while also, to a certain extent, achieving your goal of saving money and time.
That said, even if you feel that way the moment you meet, you might end up having an enjoyable conversation over a meal and gradually get drawn in.
I wonder if the person asking this only sees women at face value…
Everyone has different preferences, but…
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