Maybe because of the recent anonymous Q&A posts, more and more people are hiding their profiles from me and making a show of having quit. I’m put off by them lying just to make it look like they’ve stopped, even though they could simply continue, so I bring up ending things as soon as I notice. I feel they’ll just tell another lie in the future. I’m sure they think they won’t get caught, but when a club hides someone’s profile from that one person, do they explain the risk of being found out—and, in the worst case, the risk of ending the relationship? Or if someone simply asks them to hide their profile, do they just say, “Sure,” without asking or saying anything?

Do you think the club is encouraging her to hide things or lie? I think you should feel free to end the arrangement if that’s what you want. She may really have quit, of course. Only the woman herself knows. Marika

I’m Tetsu, a male member. Reading through the questions, I was reminded once again how selfish men can be when they pressure women to leave the club. Or maybe there are simply far too many male members who don’t realize that encouraging someone to withdraw is against the rules. They get the woman to leave while continuing their own membership. Seriously? I don’t get the impression that many women are being hidden. If there were a lot of requests saying, “Please hide her because she pressured me to leave,” I feel the club would have made some kind of announcement.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. I’m not possessive at all, and I’ve never said or done anything to suggest otherwise, but one of the women I’m seeing suddenly disappeared from my “Favorites,” which really worried me. The idea that she might have decided on me without asking feels like pressure. I’m not a Pokémon, after all. I’m hoping she simply hid her profile to avoid making me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s because so many male members pressure women to quit, so women who know about the hide function have gotten into the habit of hiding their profiles before anyone can say anything like that?

I’m columnist Fuu. How would you even know that you alone had been hidden from view? Would you really ask a male friend who’s a member to log in just so you could check the profiles of your ongoing sugar relationships? That takes a lot of effort and dedication. People hide their profiles out of consideration for the other person, so if the questioner has already written that they’re fine with continuing the relationship, does it really matter whether the profile is visible or not? Lying is difficult, isn’t it? But I think that, in human relationships, kind and considerate lies can act as a lubricant, helping things proceed smoothly and peacefully. To me, a lie told out of consideration or kindness is an expression of compassion. As for how hidden profiles work, I think it’s fine to leave it up to the PJ’s discretion, just as it has been.

Maezawa from the President’s Office here. > Lately, perhaps because of the anonymous question box, I’ve been seeing a lot of posts from people claiming that they’ve quit after only I was hidden from view. I don’t think that’s an attempt to draw attention to themselves. I think it’s because you, the questioner, asked them to quit. In the first place, I doubt women themselves want to say, “Please hide only this person from me.” But when men ask them to leave, they probably feel they have no choice but to do so. Ultimately, they’re only doing it because men are violating the rules. I think you should understand that. That said, I’d be more interested in knowing how you found out that only you had been hidden.

I’m Kazu, a male member. That doesn’t happen among the people around me. Aren’t you asking her to make you her only one? If she still wants to receive offers—in other words, she isn’t satisfied with her relationship with you—yet you’re asking her to leave the club, then I’d say the relationship is already effectively dead. As you say, she’s lying. But you’re also the one who put her in a position where she felt she had no choice but to lie. Of course, there are women who underestimate men and think that if they whisper a few sweet words and tell him he’s the only one, he’ll keep spending money on them. Even if that was her mindset from the beginning, the relationship still seems effectively dead. Since it’s already a relationship on life support, it’s only natural that it would end once she was found out. Either way, the fact that she pretends to quit suggests that, from her perspective, this isn’t a relationship she wants to continue openly. By the way, forcing a woman to leave the club is listed as prohibited under the membership rules. There may be room for debate over whether it qualifies as “coercion,” but you could also say that the club is letting potentially rule-breaking behavior slide by simply hiding that particular person from you. I don’t know whether they always explain the risks, but when a woman asks to be hidden, I think the club will often ask her about the circumstances.