I told her that meeting three times at 30,000 yen per meeting would come to nearly 100,000 yen, and asked whether that would help. She was very happy.
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Yesterday, I saw her in the hotel district with a middle-aged man who was slightly younger than me. I wasn’t with another woman—I was alone and had only used the hotel district as a shortcut.
I felt turned off when I realized she was also meeting other men, even though she had said the allowance I gave her would be enough.
We were supposed to meet the day after tomorrow, so yesterday I emailed her about seeing her in the hotel district and how hurt I was that she had lied about the money being enough. She replied that she never said it would be enough, only that it would help. She also said that we had never agreed to see only each other, and that if I wanted to say something like that, I should offer her 100,000 yen. She added that if I didn’t like it, we shouldn’t meet anymore.
I lost my temper and messaged her, “There are plenty of girls prettier than you, so goodbye.” She hasn’t replied yet.
I’ve been looking through the list of women, but I can’t help comparing them to her, and I haven’t found anyone I’m really satisfied with. I’m regretting that I may have acted too impulsively.
If I want to start over with her, what should I say?
I’ll answer too—Maezawa from the CEO’s office.
You’re probably already blocked, so anything you write likely won’t get through.
Still, holding on to the faint hope that there’s maybe a 1% chance you haven’t been blocked, I’d suggest doubling the allowance and apologizing profusely. That seems like your best option.
For example:
“I’m sorry I got jealous this time. As an apology, I’d like to offer double the allowance—¥60,000 × 3 meetings, if that works for you.”
Something along those lines might possibly help.
If you can’t afford to offer that much, then you should give up.
In the first place, I think there’s over a 99% chance you’ve been blocked and nothing will get through.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
You should give up. Most women in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) come to dislike their papas (male supporters) much sooner and much more intensely than the men realize. Judging from that exchange, she has come to absolutely, utterly despise you.
From the way you wrote your question, she even seems to feel disgust toward you. Don’t underestimate the resentment papa-katsu women can harbor. Their stress is considerable, so when it finally comes out, it can be incredibly fierce… Please understand that.
By now, she’s probably ranting on her papa-katsu Twitter account, saying things like, “What’s with these old guys trying to tie you down for 100,000 yen a month??? Who the hell are you to me?? Being tied down by some broke old man for 100,000 yen a month is seriously hell. I’m so damn exhausted.”
If she’s saying that much to you over email, then behind your back—and in her own mind—she’s hurling even more vicious abuse at you. Do you really want to meet a woman like that again?
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I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.”
You’re greedy, nitpicky, and short-tempered, so there’s no way women will like you or choose you.
It’s incredibly contradictory to want exclusivity while offering terms that would make a woman nothing more than someone you keep on the side.
Start by working on yourself.
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This is Seattle.
It sounds like a made-up story with plenty of holes in it, though. First of all, you clearly don’t know the going rate. If you want her exclusively, you’re talking about a completely different order of magnitude.
She might come back if you pay six figures in compensation. But she’s popular, so if you want her exclusively, you’re probably better off giving up.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Couldn’t you resolve this with money instead of words? Maybe an apology plus a ¥50,000 apology payment. This is a dating club, after all. The proper way to express the depth of your affection is through the allowance.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I let my possessiveness and jealousy get the better of me and said something silly. Wouldn’t it be best to apologize by saying, “I regret it. Please forgive me”?
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