Are men who make offers for this month or next month during this time a person to avoid? I’m worried about whether they have adequate risk-awareness in other areas too.
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The man I met last month was also questionable. Things weren’t like this before, but since the pandemic began, I feel that the percentage of decent men making offers has gone down. I’m also starting to wonder whether there’s something wrong with me for still wanting to meet new people during COVID.
I’m Chikuwa, a male member.
After reading Marika’s answer, I realized I’m not the only one who can’t travel abroad anymore and has been spending all my time on club activities.
When I first joined, I was too busy to make many offers, but once COVID hit, I had far too much free time, so I started making offers like crazy.
These days, though, I’m understandably nervous, can’t drink, and have seen my offers drop dramatically.
But for some reason, lately there’s been an increase in both the quality and number of new female members, so I keep finding more women I really don’t want to miss out on—and it’s becoming a dilemma.
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All of my papas (male supporters) who started offering me dates sometime between last year and this year—in other words, since COVID began—say the same thing: “I can’t travel overseas anymore.”
Some travel alone to visit friends abroad, while others go on fun trips with their golf buddies. Some even have homes overseas. There are all kinds of people.
If they’re unable to travel abroad and have time and money to spare, and that’s why they’re seeing only me, then in a way, they’re minimizing their opportunities for contact and taking thorough precautions.
They pick me up by car and take me straight to a hotel, or we have dinner in a private room before heading to a hotel. It really makes me realize that you can go on dates without meeting anyone else.
I suppose it would be a different story if they were making offers indiscriminately, though.
Marika
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
If you’re worried, why not take a break until things settle down with COVID?
That said, it may not be because of the pandemic—you may simply have been unlucky with the people you met.
Female members continue to join steadily.
The girl I had an ongoing arrangement with had to return to her family home because of COVID. I’m feeling lonely, so I’m currently looking for my next ongoing partner and am actively making offers.
I’ll do my best to be gentlemanly, kind, and well-groomed so I won’t be called a person to avoid.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
It may be a harsh reality, but generous (well-paying) papas may have already found women before COVID and been supporting them long-term, so perhaps they don’t feel the need to actively make offers during the pandemic.
One of my papas used to make offers to several women each year before COVID. But after 2020, he stopped making offers to new women, and the women he had been seeing gradually dropped out and disappeared, leaving just me.
In unstable times, perhaps more people naturally seek stability. It may be similar to how many people struggle to change jobs successfully right now. I think I’m still around by process of elimination, but my relationship with my papa has felt stable.
So this is just a theory, but I sometimes wonder whether many of the people making lots of offers during this period are more focused on the moment.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
I think it’s probably just your imagination. You simply need to date someone who meets your preferences. Don’t push yourself—take your time and keep your options open, and you’re bound to meet someone great eventually.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Since April, I’ve made quite a few offers and met with people. And honestly, I can’t say with confidence that I’m not a person to avoid myself ^^;
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I’m Maezawa from the President’s Office, and I’ll answer as well.
I get the impression that the number of offers has actually increased compared with before COVID (since sales are up), so I don’t think the men making offers are necessarily people to avoid.
That said, if we assume that people who didn’t do well on dating apps have been moving over to dating clubs—which is only a possibility, as there’s no data to support it, and the proportion of members mentioning this in their enrollment surveys hasn’t increased—then it’s possible that more men similar to those on dating apps are joining.
But that’s only a hypothesis. For example, even someone who used dating apps would probably follow the etiquette of a dating club when using one, so I feel this assumption is probably wrong.
If that’s the case, perhaps what happened to you was simply bad luck.
Also, I don’t understand why making another offer would make you question someone’s risk-management abilities. If anyone who doesn’t stay shut inside their home has poor risk-management skills, then unemployed shut-ins who act as their own “home security” would have the best risk-management abilities.
Is that the kind of person you would rather support financially?
I assume you mean that this is happening despite the state of emergency being declared, but it’s also possible that ten years from now, people will look back and say, “We were wrong about that at the time.”
When you think about it that way, people meeting one another is natural, and necessary for living as human beings. I don’t think we can simply say it’s unnecessary.
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I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
I think you’re absolutely right.
That said, when it comes to relationships between men and women, you never know where or when a miracle might happen. Some people may grow apart because of COVID, while others may form a special bond. Everyone’s situation is different.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
There are many different ways to manage risk, and everyone has their own views on the risk of contracting COVID-19. So I think it’s jumping to conclusions to assume that someone is a person to avoid simply because they make an offer while a state of emergency is in effect.
If you believe that seeking new encounters is, in itself, irresponsible from a risk-management standpoint, then perhaps you should start by putting your own membership on hold.
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