Tips
Apr 28, 2021 21:57
9 answers
🏅 あなたの味方
お役に立てれば幸いです。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe staff
Maezawa from the president’s office here.
> I’m gradually starting to feel like I want to keep this particular woman all to myself.
Why not keep her indirectly rather than trying to control her directly?
For example, you could offer her an allowance of ¥300,000 per meeting.
That would make the other men seem insignificant, wouldn’t it? Of course, I don’t think it’s just about the money, but offering that much would probably convey that you want to keep her to yourself, as well as show how much you like her.
And if you’re the kind of person who might end up becoming overly kind and falling for her in ways beyond money, then I don’t think you’d lose out in terms of personality either.
In that sense, your indirect way of keeping her would be complete.
Also, by paying that much, you may be able to build a sort of emotional safety net for yourself—reminding yourself that you’re only able to keep her around because of your money.
If you get too deeply involved, you could eventually end up becoming a stalker. So it may help to keep a rational perspective, such as thinking, “She says she likes me because I give her such a generous allowance.”
Other
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I don’t really feel the need to be possessive. If anything, I’d like the women I see to date lots of men.
Women become more beautiful when they fall in love. Since I want to be with beautiful women, I hope they’ll fall in love often.
Wouldn’t it be nice to be one of the partners of a woman you’re seeing?
🏅 大阪の昼寝引きこもりトレーダー
スペ90以下のひとを厚く囲い込み、一生面倒見て実質一夫多妻で大切にしたい独身です。
Age: 50s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m in Seattle.
If we became extremely close, I’d like to have a mutually exclusive arrangement with one person and pay her over ¥1 million a month—but only if we both genuinely wanted that.
I hope I meet someone like that someday.
🏅 倶楽部女性のご主人様に潤いを！
Mパパ、永遠の交際継続中！
B1タイプ〜A寄りパパです！
会う度大人は嫌と感じる方………ご相談ください。
Age: Private
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
In a situation like that, if you accept all the invitations from the woman and see her about two, three, or four times a week, you’ll naturally get a sense of her feelings, her other dating arrangements, and your compatibility, allowing the relationship to deepen.
Even without trying to tie her down, you can tell whether she’s narrowing things down to you by how often she sees you, how much priority she gives you, and how freely she makes time for you.
From her perspective, it would also be a nuisance if you suddenly changed your expectations without warning.
You need to start the relationship with that kind of arrangement in mind from the beginning.
In the first place, the choice is hers. Once she feels fulfilled with just one man, whether she has one partner or several, if meeting other men starts to feel like a hassle, she’ll naturally end up seeing only you.
If the man pressures her—or even just expects that from her—she’ll want to get away.
Also, are you the type of person who feels that meeting other women is a waste of time and that you’d rather spend that time with her?
If you’re the type who wants to date many people, or feels envious of those who do, then even having this expectation is contradictory—it’s like getting yourself trapped in an ant lion’s pit.
Other
I’m Aya, a female member.
One papa became so mentally unwell because of it that the arrangement lasted only a year.
Another papa says, “I’m married, so even if you get a boyfriend, I can’t be possessive.” But whenever he finds out that I’ve been approached by men or invited to group dates, he says, “That’s cheating.”
I sometimes wonder if he thinks it’s enough to lightly admonish me about cheating.
Yet another papa seemed to start seeing women he had previously offered to meet again, and hanging out with hostesses at clubs, around the time he became more possessive of me.
It really brought me down, wondering why he would do that, but I don’t understand how men think.
After that, thankfully, he stopped seeing other women, and now we practically live together.
There seem to be all kinds of situations, but if a papa becomes too possessive, I think women will start wondering, “Why, when he’s married????” and won’t be able to understand it.
If he’s single, I don’t think it would be a problem as long as his values are compatible with the woman’s.
🏅 ４０歳でリアル異世界転生したオッサン l 元金融マン → 現ＡＩ界隈
出張ホストの実技試験合格してるので、対女性への無難な前戯とかマナーに一定の知見あり。
Age: 40s
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Flag Maker, a columnist.
As long as I’m paying an allowance, I don’t fully trust a woman’s feelings, so I don’t feel that way.
I only start feeling that way after I stop paying an allowance—or when we meet privately in the first place.
As for being possessive or saying you love someone, that’s something else entirely. It’s supposed to be a much messier, nastier emotional battle. Think back to how it was in the old days.
Meg
Female
Send a reverse offer to this responder
🏅 修行の身
光と影
Age: 50s
👩 Female
Former Universe member
I’m Meg, a female member.
I joined a year and a half ago, and I’ve been seeing the very first person who made me an offer.
When I was still completely new to everything, he asked me to see only him and to put my membership on hold…
For women who want to see multiple people, I suppose that could feel like a hassle.
But to me, he’s a wonderful papa (a male supporter).
There was a time when I felt conflicted, thinking, “This is a dating club, after all—what about his side of things?!”
But worrying about that wasn’t making things enjoyable, so I stopped.
I love my papa, who always reassures me by saying, “I’ll always see you, no matter what.”
There are members like me, too.
Other
I’m a BB7 male member.
There have been women who absolutely couldn’t accept dating multiple people. Some even left the club, saying that if they had me, they didn’t need anyone else.
That was maybe two or three out of ten women, though…
I don’t know what kind of woman the questioner’s partner is, but if she prefers seeing multiple people, you’ll just have to let it go.
I think the best approach is to date multiple people yourself, take your mind off it, and accept that you’re even.
Jealousy and possessiveness are signs that the relationship is coming to an end.
👨 Male
Universe member
I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Since relationships through dating clubs can be unstable, I sometimes think women may feel they need to keep backup options.
I’ve never tried to tie anyone down, but I don’t like women who see just anyone and everyone.
Rather than trying to change your feelings, why not change the way you approach the relationship? You might find it helpful to make things more stable.
Once a relationship becomes stable, some women may naturally stop seeing multiple men. A woman like that would be ideal, wouldn’t she?（笑）