Some papas are very cautious about COVID, while others aren’t. When we go a long time without seeing each other, I feel my feelings cooling off—or I start becoming emotionally drawn to another papa who wants to see me more often (putting money aside and thinking purely in emotional terms).
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When I see him again after a long time, I can’t interact with him the way I did before. I’m not as excited, and we end up talking rather matter-of-factly. I feel like it might leave a better impression if I didn’t see him at all…
I can’t seem to turn off my tendency to fall in love, even though I’m doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
How can I learn to keep my feelings separate?
I’m Taro, a male member.
That’s perfectly normal, and there’s no need for you to change anything.
Even the pigeons around my neighborhood stop coming around if I don’t feed them for a while.
It feels less like being naturally romantic and more like a primitive mechanism.
On the other hand, continuing to want to see someone even after they’ve pulled away feels more like love. I’m not saying you should do that, though.
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Akai from Universe Club is also here to answer.
Thank you for reaching out.
It seems that many other members have also been meeting less often due to COVID. When you go for a while without seeing someone, it’s only natural for your feelings to fade, so I don’t think there’s any problem with leaving things as they are.
Our motto is “free love,” so I hope you can enjoy it without putting too much pressure on yourself.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I think that’s perfectly normal.
On the other hand, it would be impressive—but also a little scary—if a woman could meet a man with the exact same level of enthusiasm whether she only saw him once every few months or every week.
With someone like that, even if you met every week, it might feel boring because you’d never feel like you were actually getting closer.
I think you’re fine just the way you are.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here.
In other words, you don’t come across as overly focused on money, which probably makes you the kind of woman most male members are looking for.
I think it’s only natural for feelings to fade when you go a long time without seeing each other.
Long-distance relationships are another example of couples being unable to meet for extended periods. Before the internet, couples who spent hours on the phone every night seemed to stay together fairly often, while those who avoided contacting each other because of the phone bills seemed to break up relatively quickly.
As for being the romantic type… I think that’s a good thing, so part of me hopes you’ll stay just the way you are.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
That’s a nice problem to have. If you already have several partners, why not just relax and enjoy papa-katsu without overthinking it?
If you’re not feeling excited about meeting someone, you don’t have to force yourself. In the long run, I think your partners will appreciate you more if you stay true to your romantic nature.
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