Why do men who offer lower allowances tend to become more demanding with women?
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I’ve been registered with the club for a year now, and I’ve repeatedly felt that the amount of the allowance seems to be proportional to a man’s level of decency.
By “low allowance,” I mean the minimum amount I set for myself when continuing to see a man.
Since amounts are a matter of personal values, I’d rather not disclose the figures.
● Men who offer generous (well-paying) allowances...
They’re gentlemanly and easy to talk to, keep communication to the necessary minimum, and meeting them is stress-free.
They also take me to wonderful places for both meals and hotel dates. (Though I suppose this may simply come down to differences in financial means.)
● Men who offer low-paying allowances
The lower the allowance, the more likely they seem to be to say things like, “I want to keep seeing you, I don’t want you to see me as just money, and I want to give you all kinds of experiences beyond the allowance.”
They also message me persistently between meetings and repeatedly invite me on trips or to private outings—such as golf practice or the aquarium—where they only cover transportation costs.
Even during hotel dates, they keep pushing certain things without noticing that I’m uncomfortable, and they don’t make any effort to address things like bad breath.
As for how often we meet, it’s obvious they’re focused on getting their money’s worth while paying as little allowance as possible. I’ve even been asked to lower the allowance so we could meet more often each month.
What accounts for this difference?
This pattern I’ve noticed since joining the club applies, without exception, to every man I’ve met.
Normally, you’d expect someone who’s paying a lot to feel entitled to make some demands. But perhaps men who can pay a generous allowance without hesitation have more peace of mind, which allows them to treat women more like gentlemen?
If one of those men invited me on a trip, I’d be happy to go, since he’s always been so good to me and I’d want to show my appreciation.
Do men who offer low-paying allowances not realize that their allowance is low?
I understand wanting to have fun within a limited budget, but why do they become so overly eager about it?
Why do they keep inviting me even though I always turn them down when it’s anything other than a hotel date? Eventually, they get offended and unilaterally end the relationship themselves, lol.
There are plenty of other “seven mysteries of papa-katsu,” but this time I wanted to ask about the one I notice most: why the allowance seems to be proportional to a man’s level of decency.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I know exactly what you mean. It may be similar to how discount supermarkets tend to have more difficult customers, or how cheap rental apartments tend to attract more odd neighbors.
So in the end, I only continue seeing men who offer a generous allowance. Undercutting myself is just too exhausting.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s office here as well.
As others have already said, that’s just how it is. I think it’s actually a good thing that you learned this while you’re still young.
Normally, it seems to be something people only come to understand after experiencing life for several decades.
That said, wealthy people naturally place a lot of importance on the quality of the service they receive. I believe it’s precisely because they have money to spare that they care so much about the service.
If something doesn’t satisfy them, they may cut ties without hesitation.
So it can be dangerous to assume that someone with money to spare is automatically safe. Don’t forget that you’re constantly expected to increase your value. Otherwise, before you know it, you may find that your papas are gradually disappearing.
It’s precisely with papas who don’t say anything that you need to be especially careful.
Good luck.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
I don’t usually vary the allowance by much, but now that you mention it, I do tend to offer a higher amount and be more considerate with girls I particularly like.
Some girls don’t want to spend any unnecessary time together outside the hotel, while others don’t like meeting only at a hotel.
Besides financial means, I suspect my past experience with the club may also have led me to assume that the latter was the norm and invite them to do things outside the hotel. When I first started, I thought the latter was standard too, but these days I feel the former is more common, so I approach papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) with more of an amateur adult-entertainment mindset.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
That’s just how things are. That’s the kind of world I know, too. It’s not necessarily a bad thing—it’s simply the way things are.
So rather than trying to reform the world, it’s more constructive to think about how to manage your own mindset and deal with things.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
You’ve already answered your own question.
You don’t want to be valued solely for your money, and you don’t have the financial means, so the allowance is low.
Normally, a man offers a generous allowance because he considers the woman worth it. If the allowance is low, it’s because he doesn’t think highly of her. It’s not just about looks, either. Even the most beautiful face gets boring after a couple of intimate encounters.
As for you, you probably wouldn’t be particularly bothered if a man you weren’t interested in ended the relationship.
Just cut off the men who offer low allowances and date only the eccentric ones willing to pay generously. That’s all there is to it.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
Questioner, are you a Type C—the kind who says:
> “I always turn down anything other than hotel dates”?
There are women who don’t want every date to be just a hotel date, while others, like you, prioritize the allowance and want a hotel date every time.
Mutual feelings are always best.
Since you prioritize the allowance, you’re in the world where “men who pay higher allowances are wonderful” (just as “women who ask for lower allowances are cute”). So it’s perfectly understandable that you feel that way.
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