I always enjoy reading the Q&A section.
I’m sorry to bother everyone while you’re busy.
I’m a female member who registered about half a month ago.
So far, I’ve received two letter-date offers.
I had to turn down the regular offers because the timing didn’t work for me, and I haven’t received any more offers since then.
I only recently discovered that there’s a feature allowing us to add comments to our profiles, so I’ve added one.
I’m a single mother in my early 30s.
I didn’t mention being a single mother in my comment, but should I include that information?
If I have the opportunity to start seeing someone, I’d prefer to keep it private whenever possible, except when someone specifically asks, “Do you have children?”
However, if they find out later and it leads to trouble, such as being accused of fraud, then perhaps I should disclose it for the sake of both parties. I’d appreciate hearing everyone’s advice.
Sorry for the lengthy post.
I’m Taro, a male member.
I think your current approach is fine. I don’t think being a single mother necessarily leads to more offers, and I imagine many people would feel hesitant to bring it up.
Speaking from my own experience, one woman told me after we’d met several times. I was surprised, but I appreciated that she opened up about something difficult to say. When I told her it wasn’t a problem at all, she seemed relieved, and our relationship grew even closer. But to be completely honest, if I’d heard that from the start, I might not have made her an offer.
In the end, “once they’re invested, they’re invested” is important. So keep getting them invested. If you haven’t actually made any claims, then you haven’t lied, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Strategically speaking, the winner is the person who knows how to make good use of the gray areas. But relying on that alone is a little sad from a human perspective, so don’t forget to add your genuine feelings too—after they’re already invested is fine.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
It may be better to be upfront from the beginning to avoid potential trouble, though it could also mean receiving fewer offers.
Once you start seeing someone, they’ll come to understand your situation through your conversations and interactions, so I don’t necessarily think you have to hide it.
In fact, I feel that if a man makes an offer knowing the woman’s circumstances, things may go more smoothly afterward.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
Personally, I don’t pursue arrangements with single mothers. I feel that their schedules can be difficult to coordinate, and I tend to assume they’re under greater financial pressure and may feel more desperate.
Also, if I think they’re pushing themselves to do papa-katsu not for their own dreams or luxuries, but for their children, I end up feeling guilty too.
I’d appreciate your thoughts.
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I’m Kobayashi from the Tokyo branch.
I think it’s perfectly fine to simply mention it if you’re asked…!
The interviewer who handled your meeting may have noted it in your profile, although I can’t say for sure.
If you’re concerned, please feel free to contact our staff via LINE or another messaging service♪
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
It’s perfectly fine to leave the comment section blank.
I hope you find a good match within your first three or so people.
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Maezawa from the executive office here.
Most men don’t really care, but some may be concerned that, if a single mother has young children:
- She may be more likely to cancel at the last minute, since the children could suddenly develop a fever.
- She may not be able to travel together until the children are adults.
If you told the staff during your interview, this may already be mentioned in the staff comments. Even if it isn’t, the staff can answer any questions about it.
So I don’t think you need to go out of your way to include it on your profile.
As for whether you should mention it during a date, you can feel things out through the conversation and decide whether it seems appropriate.
Regarding the possibility of being accused of fraud, that would basically be directed at the staff. If a man asked you about it during the date and you lied, then I suppose it would be understandable for him to call it fraud.
Other than that, it would basically be an issue on the part of Universe Club.
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