I recently joined and don’t know how to negotiate my allowance.

I’m Saito, a column writer♪ Allowance is a tricky subject, isn’t it? It always comes up at women members’ roundtable discussions. lol In my case, I accept whatever amount the woman names—100%. There are plenty of other women, so if I feel it’s not worth it, I simply don’t see her again. I think women should feel free to do the same. If you’re getting 50, and you’re continuing despite feeling you have no choice, then that means the arrangement works for both sides. If no one is offering you 100 or 150, then that money is simply going to other, more wonderful women.

I’m Tetsu, a male member. After being active in the club for just under two years, here’s what I’ve noticed about allowances (just my personal opinion): ① Men Set the allowance entirely according to the woman’s demands and enter into an adult relationship (intimate) that same day: beginner (unable to resist his sex drive). Try to reconcile the woman’s wishes with his own, but ultimately go along with what she wants and enter into an adult relationship (intimate) that same day: intermediate (tried to resist his sex drive, but lost in the end). Listen to the woman’s wishes, but if they differ too much from his own, politely say goodbye without forcing it: advanced (able to control his sex drive). ② Women Accept whatever allowance the man offers and enter into an adult relationship (intimate) that same day: beginner (overwhelmed by the man’s intense desire). State what she wants, and if the man hesitates, clearly say, “Then I’m afraid that won’t work for me,” and say goodbye: intermediate (cuts off the man’s intense desire). State what she wants, and if the man hesitates, say, “Maybe we should leave it for today. Thank you for dinner. I’m looking forward to seeing you again next time,” keeping the door open for another meeting: advanced (teases and stirs the man’s intense desire). I didn’t actually answer your question. Be sure to clearly tell the man what you want. If you happen to meet a beginner, you might get your way (lol).

I’m Flagmaker, a column writer. This isn’t about what’s good or bad, right or wrong, or whether you negotiate. It’s simply a question of whether you diversify your risk with 30,000–50,000 yen, or take a bigger risk with 80,000–100,000 yen. If you want stability, go with 30,000–50,000 yen. If you’re aiming for high risk, high return, go with 80,000–100,000 yen. That’s all I’m saying.

I’m Taro, a male member. First of all, it’s foolish to take everything you read online at face value. Sorry（笑） I’ve met a fair number of women myself, but only one asked for 10; everyone else was in the single digits. In fact, about 90% either left it up to me or asked for 5. The ones who registered through scouts were more expensive, and for some reason they all asked for the same amount—but even then, it was 7. So I can only regard stories about people getting 10 or 15 as urban legends. That said, there’s no official going rate, so if that’s what she wants, she should just say so. From a man’s perspective, I think it usually comes down to one exchange: whether or not he accepts. It’s not like Ameyoko Market, so I doubt there’s much haggling along the lines of, “Couldn’t you do a little better?” If anything, you may be more likely to end up dealing with a clueless guy who gets weirdly offended. Still, if 8 is what you want, then say 8. It doesn’t matter what others are asking for or what the general norm is. You’re putting yourself out there, so stand your ground. Just say, matter-of-factly, “I usually receive 8.” A lie that can’t be verified isn’t really a lie. This is business, so go all in.

I’m Aya, a female member. I understand how you feel… But both people are naturally cautious at first, and I think it’s normal for the allowance not to be that high while the relationship is still new. ¥50,000 is pretty standard for someone around their late 20s to early 30s. The allowance may increase as the relationship deepens—for example, through trips, receiving gifts, or having a place rented for you—so try taking your time and building a sincere relationship. When I first registered with a dating club, I said my pay-per-meeting rate was ¥80,000. That may have reduced the number of offers I received, but I was uncomfortable with being intimate with a lot of people, so it worked out well for me. After a few months, I entered a monthly arrangement with one papa and had him rent me an apartment. Since we met two or three times a week, the amount per meeting actually ended up being lower. Most people might not like that, but I wanted to see him frequently, so I was happy with it. Once things reach that point, the pay-per-meeting amount no longer matters. Rather than raising my rate, I found that building deeper relationships with a small number of papas and improving my overall lifestyle suited me better. I hope you find a style of papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) that works for you, too.

I’m Basil, a male member. I think it depends on what you want. If you care less about the money and more about being seen as a high-level woman who deserves a generous allowance, then go ahead and state your desired amount—8 or even into the double digits. Nothing will start if you just sit back and wait. If your priority is reliably earning a substantial amount, don’t be too aggressive. Be satisfied with 5, value the people you’re currently seeing, and wait for them to grow fond of you and loosen their purse strings. Then, when you receive a new offer, you can decide based on your financial situation. Personally, if someone asks for a double-digit amount, negotiations end immediately. If it’s 8, I might consider it for the first meeting depending on how appealing she is, but I wouldn’t continue the arrangement.

I’m date◎yume, a male member. You may sometimes feel envious of other people, but I wonder if it’s really fair to judge based on just one piece of information or one particular amount of money. It’s not easy to ask someone directly how much they’re actually receiving. However, rather than relying solely on information online, I think it may be better to meet women who are actively participating when you get the chance, learn about their skills and terms of the arrangement, and then make your own case. After all, men are choosing whom to make an offer to from among many women. You may be a favorite, but there are probably plenty of other candidates as well, so it might be best to proceed somewhat cautiously. I don’t know what kind of work you do, but I don’t think a pay-per-meeting allowance of 50,000 yen is lowballing you at all.

I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer your question as well. Thank you for your question. Negotiations aren’t limited to allowances—they’re always about balancing how badly you want to be with someone against how much you’re willing to compromise on the price. For example, if you absolutely refuse anything less than ¥100,000, then you simply state: “My requested allowance is ¥100,000.” If you refuse to see anyone offering less than that, you can say, “I receive ¥100,000.” Naturally, some people will turn you down, so the number of men you can see will decrease. There’s even a possibility that it could drop to zero. If that happens, it probably means you weren’t very good at presenting yourself. On the other hand, if you want to see as many men as possible, and you currently have someone offering ¥50,000, you can use that as your baseline and only see people offering at least that amount going forward. That should allow you to see quite a lot of men. Since you want to raise it to at least ¥80,000 this time, you’ll need to negotiate knowing that the chances of seeing men who approach you from now on may decrease. However, you’re already seeing two men, so there’s no problem with aiming for ¥80,000 or more going forward. As for what to actually do, a basic part of negotiation is using a “bluff.” Before the man asks what you want, you should find a natural point in the conversation to mention something like, “Other men give me ¥100,000.” If it’s difficult to bring up during the conversation, you could say something like this when discussing the allowance: “Other men give me ¥100,000, but you seem like a great guy, so I’d be okay with ¥80,000.” That kind of negotiation may work well. If the man decides that he can’t agree to it, the negotiation will end right there. In that case, you’ll just have to accept it and move on. Also, naturally, it’s difficult to negotiate after the first date, so you should assume that the person currently giving you ¥50,000 will continue giving you ¥50,000 and leave things as they are. You should also think carefully about how to make a good impression and become genuinely liked on the first date. The more smoothly the conversation flows, the more likely he is to take a liking to you. Some women also walk unusually close to the man while they’re walking together, and that seems like it could be effective too. There are probably various other approaches as well.

I’m Kazu, a male member. There’s really no need for much negotiation. Most men will probably ask, “What do you usually do?” In that case, you can simply answer, “I usually receive 8,” or “I’d like 8, please.” That’s all it is—just state what you want when they first ask about the allowance. Trying to negotiate an increase with a man who is already offering 5 on a pay-per-meeting basis is pretty difficult unless he sees something in you that sets you apart from other women.

I’m Hikōki, a male member. What is it that you’re hoping to achieve? I think it would be good to consider how you want to live your life and what you want to place importance on. No one really knows what the actual amount should be. Men tend to think higher is better, while women may feel that lower is more appealing—so opinions contradict each other, and there’s no real standard or reliable basis to go by…