I’ve been enjoying reading this Q&A forum for a while.
I have a question: When people here talk about the going rate for an allowance, does that amount include both dinner and an adult relationship (intimate)?
Or is it the amount for the adult relationship only?
Some of the women I’ve seen in the past said that dinner and an adult relationship were paid separately.
That makes a bit of a difference in the total.
I’m sure some people have an adult relationship every time they meet, but in my case, sometimes we have an adult relationship, while other times we just go to two or three places for dinner and then part ways. Even then, I give the same allowance as I would when we have an adult relationship.
How does everyone else handle this?
Thank you in advance!
I’m Tetsu, a male member.
I negotiate the allowance separately for arrangements without an adult relationship and those with one. I’m me, and other people are other people. If you start saying, “That’s how someone else does it,” you’ll never reach an agreement.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
As a rule, when I meet someone, it includes an adult relationship (intimate). I give the same allowance regardless of whether we have a meal before or afterward.
I’m not yet at the point where I feel inclined to meet someone for dinner only (no intimacy) and still provide support.
The exceptions are when I attend an event with someone without an adult relationship, or when things don’t progress on the second meeting with a Type B. In those cases, I give ¥5,000 for actual transportation costs plus a little extra. On rainy days, for example, I add taxi fare and give ¥10,000.
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here, answering as well.
Thank you for your question.
It sounds like you’re discussing an allowance based solely on an adult relationship (intimate).
> I give her the same allowance as when we have an adult relationship.
If it’s unclear until you meet whether it will be an adult relationship or not, I think the woman is probably coming under the assumption that an adult relationship is possible and that she’ll receive the corresponding allowance. So if it becomes dinner only (no intimacy) at the man’s request, I think it’s normal to give her the adult-relationship allowance.
If you asked beforehand, “It’ll be dinner only this time—is that okay?” then I don’t think there’s a problem with setting a separate allowance for dinner only.
What matters is whether you clearly communicated this to her and whether she agreed to it.
As long as both of you are satisfied with the arrangement, I don’t think there’s any need for outsiders to comment on it.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I let each woman decide both the nature of our relationship and the allowance, so every arrangement is completely different.
To them, I may come across as a gentleman and a good guy, but if I get tired of it or decide I can’t keep it up, I say goodbye and move on immediately.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I don’t think this is really about the going rate—people are only talking about what they personally do.
For me, the allowance always covers both dinner and an adult relationship (intimate). Even when I’m not in the mood or the atmosphere isn’t right for intimacy, the allowance stays the same.
That said, when a woman invites me out for a meal or coffee because she wants me to listen to her, I’ll pay for it, but I don’t give her an allowance.
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