I’d love to hear about any words that changed or shaped your approach to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
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There was a question a little while ago about how to avoid having your allowance taken while you’re in the shower.
When I first started using a dating club, I worried about things like that too. But someone more experienced in this world, who introduced me to dating clubs, told me:
“Sure, taking the money and running benefits the other person once, but in the long run, it only hurts them. Become such a good papa (a male supporter) that you can say that with confidence.” (Paraphrased)
That was a real eye-opener for me.
Ever since, even when someone has taken off with my allowance, I’ve thought, “What a waste on their part.” Afterward, I also make up some excuse and give one of the girls I’ve known for a long time a little extra, like a bonus.
Of course, I also try to treat people well and be a good papa (a male supporter) in my everyday interactions.
I’d love to hear about any words or experiences that changed your approach to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) or influenced the way you do things.
I’m a male member who’s pretty much a loser. I’m typing this while taking a dump in an empty gym first thing in the morning.
When a woman was leaving papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) to go abroad, she introduced me to her best friend at the international airport on the day we said goodbye and said:
“She’s my best friend.”
Then she asked me:
“Would you become her papa (a male supporter)?”
The look on her face and the way she said it gave me a little confidence in how I approach these relationships.
The friend she introduced had never done papa-katsu before.
It wasn’t that I changed my behavior or values—it was the moment I became convinced that “this is okay.”
Entrusting someone’s precious best friend to you is no small thing, after all.
Even now, I think the papa I’m playing is nothing more than a hypocrite. But even if it was hypocrisy, it was still a deeply moving realization that I had earned enough trust from the women I dated for one of them to introduce me to her dearest friend.
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Lately, I’ve started to think of the allowance as compensation for having to put up with not being able to see my favorite papa (a male supporter) whenever I want.
There wasn’t any particular comment that prompted me to think this way.
Marika
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I’m Aya, a female member.
It’s not exactly one single thing, but I suppose I realized that papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is really a form of marketing and sales. Once I understood that I wouldn’t receive any compensation unless I met the other person’s needs, I started enjoying papa-katsu much more.
I also genuinely enjoy getting a glimpse into the minds of middle-aged and older men. I watch all the messy emotions unfold, reflect once again on myself as a woman, and savor the depth of human nature between men and women.
Maybe it’s like how coffee’s bitterness starts to taste delicious once you become an adult. Lately, I’ve been thinking that papa-katsu is addictive precisely because it’s such a bitter world, and not something you can navigate by following a simple formula.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
“Because that money is money you worked hard to earn, ○○-kun, right? And you have a family and children. That money should be spent on your family, not on me. I can’t accept it.”
My former dating partner said that to me recently. It hit me like a gong. It’s still ringing in my head—gong, gong, gong. It’s shaken me to my core.
Since then, I’ve started feeling conflicted about doing this kind of thing. At this rate, I might be pushed into retirement—not just changing my dating style. Though, like the autumn sky, my feelings may change again.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
As I’ve mentioned several times in this Q&A forum and in my own columns, it’s one of the pieces on Darling that I studied as reference material when I was first considering my approach to activities at a dating club.
Specifically, it’s the conversation between the suspicious interviewer and the country-bumpkin CEO from Taito-san dazo’s column, “My Thinking Got Weird After Joining a Dating Club.”
When I read it, I remember thinking, “Yeah, that’s exactly how it is,” and really agreeing with that passage（笑）
Since I started using dating clubs, I’ve stuck to the motto: “Focus on one person and follow through on my original intentions!”
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