I’m Kamihikōki, a male member.
I hadn’t answered because the question was complicated and difficult to parse, but after rereading it:
“There were 30 offers, and although I’m not popular with men my own age, I’m told I’m beautiful.”
Maybe she’s a beautiful woman who seems somewhat unapproachable—or simply not very approachable—to men her own age.
I think the whole thing started because she assumed she was only told she was beautiful “occasionally” and answered that her score was around 50.
Since it’s an anonymous question box, people can write whatever they want, and I think it’s fine to express strong feelings—or even be deliberately provocative—toward the person asking. But there should probably be fewer answers that misinterpret the question or are too one-sided.
I assume this was also written with her previous answers in mind.
P.S.
I think the impression would change just by removing the “mon” from phrases like “mieru mon nan desu yo” and saying “mieru n desu yo” instead.
“Mon” or “mono” can sound overly definitive, as though you’re imposing your own conclusion on someone, so it’s probably better to be careful with it. I used to say it a lot myself, so I try to watch out for it now.
I’m Dai, a male member.
If you attend a reasonably prestigious university, being told you have a deviation score of 50 can feel like a rejection. I think that may be one of the downsides of the Japanese entrance-exam system.
That said, excuse me for jumping in, but regarding Shingo Lee’s answer…
Within the club, a woman who receives 30 offers would rank close to 70 on the club’s own deviation-score scale.
If you call her “an average 50” among young women in general, wouldn’t that feel discouraging to women who have received anywhere from zero to only a few offers?
I’m saying this as a reminder to myself as well, but I think we need to be careful with our words.
I’m Shingo Lee (Shingori), a columnist.
Your summary is incorrect.
>>Because she lacks youth. Men like that can’t approach truly young, cute women who radiate youthfulness.
I never said anything remotely like that. I reread my answer, but I couldn’t see how it could be interpreted that way.
What I said was that you shouldn’t take compliments about your appearance from older men seriously. The same principle applies in business: you should never use opinions from people outside your target audience as a reference. In this case, if you want to be popular with people your own age, you should analyze only how people your age evaluate you and how they behave toward you.
The previous questioner’s evaluation by people her own age was: “I don’t get approached by people my age, though I’m occasionally told I’m beautiful.”
Isn’t that about average for a woman? It’s not 50 points out of 100—it’s a deviation score of 50.
The median number of times women in their twenties have been confessed to is two or three. In other words, “ordinary women are reasonably popular.”
*This is based on data from Sumomo’s “Survey on Romance (2019).”
Another important factor in my comment was that a man her age whom she met for the first time told her, “You seem like the type older guys would be more into than men our age.”
Until two years ago, I conducted fashion-related surveys.
One general trend is that when someone’s fashion is too far removed from your own, you can’t really accept it. I judged that the previous questioner’s clothing might be quite out of step with people her age.
Among today’s younger generation, moving away from luxury brands and lower prices per item have become the norm, so I recommended fashion typical of her age group—an outfit consisting of GU clothes from top to bottom.
Now that I’ve written all that, I can finally answer the question.
>>Does Mr. Shingo Lee have some kind of trauma involving women who seem to appeal to those older men?
I don’t have any particular trauma.
I do think a lot of the girls I approach are rather cheeky, but that’s within the margin of error.
If anything, I have trauma from women in their early thirties. Many of them are money-grubbing and selfish, so I can’t even bring myself to approach them anymore…
>>You wrote an unusually condescending and aggressive answer. If you’d like, why don’t you meet me in person?
Do you mean this is the first time I’ve written an aggressive comment, or are you referring to my comments in general?
I’m new here, so I’ve been paying close attention to the tendencies of other people’s comments, but I’m not aware that mine are more aggressive than those of other respondents.
As long as it doesn’t violate any rules, I’m willing to meet.
For regular requests, I charge a reasonable rate of ¥6,000 for two hours, plus transportation expenses.
