I’m Saito, the column writer♪
Somehow, my answer seems to have triggered all this… I’m terribly sorry… *tears*
【My answer at the time】
Um…
This may sound rude, but there are countless things you can resolve simply by expressing your own wishes.
If you keep blaming the other party for things you’re perfectly capable of handling yourself, your life will become unnecessarily restricted.
Isn’t this the kind of thing that could be resolved by contacting them directly in the first place?
↑I admit, that could certainly be interpreted in several ways…
Regarding “Isn’t this something that could be resolved by contacting them directly in the first place?”:
【At this point, I think the best option would be to add a sentence to your public profile saying, “Married people, please be sure to decline any offers.”】
I think Sato’s answer above was the most appropriate, so I recommend asking your representative club to add that to your profile.
Basic matters, such as distinguishing between married and unmarried people… Basic matters…
As the questioner and Universe pointed out, I realized there must be various issues involved.
I also came to understand that I belong to one of the more relaxed branches.
(I had actually seen profiles mentioning that someone had children, for example…)
In today’s hiring practices, asking about someone’s favorite books or people they admire—things that used to be perfectly normal—is considered inappropriate. I’m sure you’re also aware that overseas hiring is even stricter.
And of course, no one can stop me from picking up my child from school in the middle of work. *laughs*
That’s why I personally prefer either narrowing things down, as the questioner did, or asserting yourself skillfully, as Universe’s Sato advised. I’m sorry that my explanation was insufficient.
As an aside,
【Also, the part about liking group play…】
was picked up as well. Thank you for noticing all those details.
Lately, I’ve also been enjoying traveling in groups.
Anyway, getting back to the topic, let me briefly explain how I make offers and communicate with Universe.
I don’t often ask,
“What kind of woman is she?”
Instead, I say something like:
“This is the kind of man I am.
(I prefer women over 170 cm, no cute-type women, no reader-model types, no short hair, no upper limit on the allowance, no office workers, and no women who have given birth.)”
I feel that this is more likely to be recorded in Universe’s internal notes, which makes it easier for them to recommend women who fit my preferences and goals.
I’m not asking the other person directly; I’m simply stating my own preferences. So I think it’s fine to be as brutally blunt as the examples above.
Even after I make an offer, if the staff reply with something vague like, “We wouldn’t recommend her very strongly, but…” I just assume—completely on my own—that she must not meet one of my conditions, and I move on to someone else.
But if they introduce her by saying, “She doesn’t really match Mr. Saito’s terms, but…” then I start thinking, “Maybe she’s still someone they really want to recommend?” and feel like giving it a try.
I suppose it would be better if we could guide things so that neither side felt the need to use the other’s words against them…
But I’m always making the staff cry by saying, “That’s not what you said back then!”
↑Just kidding. *laughs*
【Since my previous explanation apparently lacked some details, I would like to ask Universe again:
Why did an internal rule arise making married/unmarried status a taboo topic?
Could you please explain the circumstances behind it?】
↑It appears that the back office has already answered, so I’ll leave that part out.
Sorry for the extremely long post.
Maezawa here.
Regarding whether women are married or single:
There used to be a section on the interview form asking whether a woman was married or unmarried, but that section disappeared several years ago. At the time, I believe the policy became: “Don’t ask the women, and don’t tell the men either” (since we weren’t asking the women, there was nothing to tell them). I assumed that was still the case.
However, after looking into it, I found that information about whether a woman is married or unmarried is listed in her profile data fairly often at two particular branches. It was also listed in a small number of cases at other branches.
I wondered whether the rules had changed somewhere, so I investigated and found that last year a rule was introduced stating:
“Don’t press women for the information, but if we happen to know whether a woman is married or unmarried, it’s okay to tell the man.”
Among the branches following the “don’t press women” policy, there may be some that interpret it as “don’t ask women at all,” while others interpret it as “you may ask, but if she seems uncomfortable, don’t ask any further.”
The rules are changed from time to time—which is also one of Universe’s strengths—so it raises various questions, such as which version of the rules each branch is applying, or whether staff at the same branch are ignoring company policy and doing things their own way.
At the moment, it seems that many staff members in Tokyo ask women but don’t tell men.
Some branches will tell you if you ask, while others won’t—even if you ask (though you may be able to figure it out depending on how you phrase the question).
This may seem unfair, but sometimes I wonder whether the company’s willingness to allow this kind of ambiguity is actually part of the reason it has grown.
Since information about women is basically provided from that perspective, I don’t think there is normally any difference in whether the same woman’s information is disclosed or withheld depending on the staff member.
> Why did an internal rule arise making a woman’s married or unmarried status taboo?
As you can see from the situation with the current rules, I’m not really in a position to clearly explain how this rule came about either. (Even from what I’ve looked into today, several possible reasons have come up.)
I imagine people wanted to use the reason behind the rule to judge whether it should be withdrawn because the reasoning was flawed, or whether it was understandable and acceptable.
Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful.
