Since things are negotiated freely after an offer, I assume the club itself doesn’t really keep track—but based on your experience, what would you say is the average length of an arrangement, in terms of duration or number of meetings?
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I get the impression that few relationships continue for three or more meetings, but I’d appreciate it if you could share your own experiences or anything you’ve heard from people you’ve made offers to.
It’s Me here.
I checked the numbers for the woman I’m currently seeing.
Duration: 1 year and 11 months (ongoing)
Number of times we’ve met: 72
When we first started seeing each other, we met about once a month—or sometimes not even that.
Maybe it’s lasted this long because neither of us expected too much from the start, and we began at a pace that worked for both of us.
As a result, I haven’t been able to make any offers at all lately, haha.
Sorry, everyone at the club. *bows*
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
The figures I compiled in a previous column covered up to the second meeting. About 60% of the people I met for the first time met me a second time. I didn’t track the numbers after that, but based on my impression, the figure drops sharply to around 10–20% by the third meeting.
So, just as you suspected, the numbers seem to decline dramatically from the third meeting onward.
If things continue for three or more meetings, it often turns into an ongoing arrangement. In my case, some of my favorite regulars have stayed with me for a long time—some for over three years, and others for more than a year and still counting.
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I’m Paper Airplane, a male member.
I’m not particularly masculine, and my voice is so soft and timid that it’s hard to hear—not a deep, manly voice. I’m not handsome, I don’t offer a generous allowance, and I don’t explain the allowance in advance. I’m not especially funny or good at conversation, I don’t take them out for expensive meals, I mostly use love hotels, and I tend to spend a long time together…
So I don’t really have many good points.
That means I’ve narrowed it down to women who are compatible with me in every way and genuinely enjoy spending time together.
So there aren’t that many women I want to meet a second time—maybe around a 20% chance? And it’s rare for me to want to meet someone a third or fourth time—perhaps 10%.
But the women I’ve continued seeing beyond that have all stayed in my life for at least six months—maybe around 3%.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
A lot of people don’t make it to a third meeting. About half drop off by the second meeting, and then another half by the third. I remember people on this forum saying that only around 12–14% make it to the third meeting, but in my case, things tend to last a little longer. Once they get past that point, there’s another turning point around the tenth meeting or so. If they make it past that, the arrangement often lasts for years.
Looking at it another way, in my experience, people who meet again within about a week of the first meeting tend to continue for quite a while. When there’s a longer gap before the second meeting, it often doesn’t continue—or rather, that’s usually why there’s a gap in the first place. Among those who meet for the second time after two weeks to a month, I’d say fewer than half continue compared with those who meet again within a week.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Since so many women don’t meet a second time, calculating an average would be pretty skewed.
It’s true that very few women continue for four or more meetings—about one in twenty. Of the women I’ve met at least four times, my arrangements with two of them have lasted nearly a year, from the time I first made them an offer until now. I’ve met one of them more than 50 times and the other more than 30 times.
I’ve become quite close with these two, so I ask them whether they’ve received any offers and what happened afterward. Apparently, most encounters still end after just one meeting.
It seems I’m setting new personal records for the longest-lasting arrangement with both of them.
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I’ll answer this as Maezawa from the president’s office.
I’ve heard that women sometimes stop responding after meeting someone about three times, so it seems like the first wave tends to come around the third meeting.
From the woman’s perspective, it might go something like this:
They meet for the first time and think, “We may not be a good match,” but decide to give it another try. After meeting twice, they start to feel that they really aren’t compatible. By the third meeting, they don’t really want to go anymore, but since they already made plans, they meet him anyway—only to realize that he’s definitely not someone they want to continue seeing, so they block him.
Looking at it that way, it makes sense that some women would stop responding at that point.
Of course, some women can make up their minds after the second meeting, while others will give it until the third. But not many women are willing to put up with it through a fourth meeting.
(Or perhaps those who can tolerate four meetings are the type who can keep putting up with it for a while.)
That’s probably how it works.
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I’m in Seattle.
I haven’t worked out the exact numbers, but people I’ve seen about four times usually end up staying in touch for at least a year. A lot of them become dinner-only arrangements, too.
On average, I’d say around six months. I keep my circle small and selective, so mine may last a little longer.
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