I’m so used to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) that I can’t have a normal relationship anymore. I’m a female college student doing papa-katsu. With papa-katsu, you never have to take out your wallet, so in a normal relationship, I really hate even having to reach for my wallet—or, worst of all, having to split the bill. Paying for things on dates feels ridiculous to me. It’s free with a papa (a male supporter), after all.
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Are women who do papa-katsu actually able to split the bill?
I’m Ayase Nana, a female member.
I also make a point of paying when I go on dates with my papa (a male supporter). He doesn’t like it, though（笑）
Even when I’m dating someone who isn’t my papa, I try to pay at least a little—like jokingly competing over who reaches for their wallet first（笑）
If you start taking it for granted that someone else will always pay, it can spoil you as a person and even affect your regular job.
Please be careful.
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My name is Shingo Lee (Shingori), and I’m a male member.
You seem to have a very good understanding of your current situation. Since you recognize that splitting the bill is normal and that being treated every time—as in papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan)—isn’t, I think you’re a fairly “well-adjusted” person.
If you meet a man you can have an equal relationship with, you should be able to split the bill in the normal way.
There’s just one thing that really caught my attention:
>> In ordinary dating, I really hate having to reach for my wallet—or, worst of all, having to split the bill.
This part stood out to me.
Money is, after all, merely an object, a number, or a symbol. It’s a means, not an end.
If you become excessively afraid of losing money, you’ll end up unable to do anything. And if you lose the sense that wonderful experiences come at a fitting cost, you could even end up becoming the kind of person who kills someone for money.
I sincerely hope that the money you’ve earned through papa-katsu helps you live a wonderful life.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Women doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) can at least split the bill. Some have even treated me.
I only associate with good people like that! LOL.
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I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this as well.
People are capable of switching gears. When they’re with their papa, they may not spend any money, but when they’re with someone their own age, an ordinary person can switch gears and avoid making the other person pay.
Most people who do papa-katsu can do that.
On the other hand, some women doing papa-katsu have enough financial leeway that they end up paying for everything themselves.
Even if they’re young, perhaps they have a mama-katsu mindset.
But if that’s how you feel, then you’re playing right into your papa’s hands.
Things are progressing exactly as he intended, so I think you should continue seeing only papas.
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I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
Haha（笑）
This reminded me of a woman I was dating who once talked about the difference between two bosses at work: one who treated her to meals and one who always split the bill.
The boss who treated her seemed to spend most of his time doing other things instead of working, while the one who split the bill was apparently very good at teaching her the job.
She was wondering which was better—the generous one or the stingy one（笑）
I told her, “Well, not everything in life can be perfect…”
And this question is much the same—things can’t always be good（笑）
I hope you meet a boyfriend you’ll want to see whether he treats you or splits the bill.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I feel like my values changed somewhat after working part-time at a lounge in Nishi-Azabu. When an older man I met through work invited me out to dinner, I found myself thinking, “I entertained this guy, smiled the whole time, and got exhausted—so why isn’t he even covering my taxi fare?” That’s when I realized I’d changed. Now that business dinners have stopped because of COVID, I feel relieved.
But a boyfriend my own age is different. Italian food at the Aman Tokyo with a papa (a male supporter) is nice, but I find the pasta at Saizeriya with my boyfriend—499 yen—just as delicious. So perhaps you simply haven’t met a boyfriend you’d feel comfortable splitting the bill with yet.
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I’m a male member who goes by Paper Airplane.
Once you get used to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), you probably won’t be able to work a part-time job for 1,000 yen an hour anymore.
At my workplace, there are wonderful female college students who would rank black or higher at a club, and they work hard—and enjoy themselves—for about that hourly wage.
Then again, those girls probably aren’t interested in papa-katsu.
On the other hand, many young men these days are perfectly fine splitting the bill, and many don’t place much importance on going out for meals, so the gap between them and papa-katsu is only getting wider.
Maybe it’s okay to start dating after things have settled down with papa-katsu…
First, you may need to become comfortable going on dates without an allowance. Otherwise, splitting the bill or having a girlfriend may be completely out of reach.
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