Don't you think the concept of a "girl who's out of your league" doesn't really exist? I'm a female college student.

I’m Aya, a female member. You may have an aloof, elegant look—the kind that makes you seem like a beauty who’s out of reach. Even if you’re not popular with people your own age, I bet you’d attract plenty of attention at parties attended by wealthy older men. I tend to think about popularity from a marketing perspective, so I switch off in places where trying hard probably won’t get me anywhere. Haha. But I can usually tell where I’m likely to be well received, so in those settings I act friendly and make myself seem approachable. I think you’ll get a feel for it too once you’ve had more experience.

I’m Flag Maker, a column writer. It’s because you’re not making men think, “Wait, maybe I’ve got a chance with her?” Just say things like, “I really like that side of you, [name],” “I’d love to go to [place] with you!” or “I’m jealous of the woman who gets to date you,” to every guy you can. You’ll probably have men lining up to pursue you.

I think it’s simply a different style. Girls around college age these days tend to dress in a soft, cute way. So someone with a more mature, sultry vibe would stand out as unusual. If she seems unapproachable and is fairly attractive, you could call her “a flower on a high peak”—beautiful but out of reach. I think it’s difficult to appeal to both older men and people your own age. Marika

Maezawa from the CEO’s office here, and I’ll answer this too. I think it may be easier to understand if you realize that being “out of your league” isn’t just about looks. For example, imagine there’s a beautiful woman and you’re thinking about approaching her, when a friend says: “She’s the only daughter of a wealthy family that owns a hugely famous company. I heard that if you make a wrong move, her parents’ bodyguards will summon you and make your life miserable.” You’d probably think, “Maybe I’d better not approach her.” Even if it’s not that extreme, when a woman is exceptionally beautiful, you might think, “Someone at my level probably wouldn’t stand a chance with her. She might just ignore me.” That said, people at dating clubs tend to have enough life experience that they probably don’t think this way as much. But someone around student age might very well see things that way. That’s why you sometimes see beautiful women dating men who don’t seem particularly popular with women. The same applies to men who have a realistic sense of how attractive or popular they are. They can gauge each other’s level, so if they feel they’re below the other person’s level, they may decide not to approach her. People who can’t judge that difference may just go for it—and sometimes it works out. So, I think being “out of your league” isn’t necessarily just about being beautiful. Sometimes it’s also about giving off an atmosphere that makes people hesitant to approach you in the first place. If you start approaching people more proactively, they may realize that you’re different from what they expected. Then you might no longer seem out of their league, and some people may start thinking, “Maybe I should make a move.” Another important factor is leaving yourself some openings. As people often say, it’s hard to approach a woman who seems completely unapproachable, so deliberately showing a little vulnerability can be important too. In fact, women who seem to have plenty of openings—enough to make people wonder, “Is she going to be okay?”—may actually attract more men around them.

I’m Kazu, a male member. I do think “unattainable” women exist. When I was in college, there was one among my classmates. She never had a boyfriend throughout her student years. I don’t know whether several men actually confessed their feelings to her, but I do remember some of them taking a shot. As I recall, the men who tried to pursue her were mostly uncool guys who didn’t seem to know their own limitations. The key point here is “several.” If we’re talking about just several people, that number could easily be zero depending on the person. As an aside, being unapproachable, being beautiful, and being cute are all completely different qualities. Someone can be both an unapproachable beauty and a cute beauty, but “unapproachable and cute” is a little harder to picture. “She seemed unapproachable, but once we started dating, I found she had a cute side” makes sense.

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. The more out of reach a woman seems, the more men want to make a move on her, so yes, that’s true. That said, it’s also true that more men choose women who seem approachable and dependable rather than going after someone out of their league. Beautiful women can actually be easier to win over because there’s often less competition.