I’m 29 and registered with Universe. Thankfully, I currently have several monthly arrangements.
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Because I have black hair and a fairly understated appearance, and because people often say, “You work for a major company, right?” my male supporters tend to compliment me on seeming serious and responsible.
However, after repeatedly experiencing workplace bullying at the company I’d worked for since graduating, I developed an adjustment disorder and had to take a leave of absence. I’m unsure whether I should tell my male supporters about it as it is.
Recently, they’ve started asking things like, “You’ve been replying to messages quickly lately,” and “Have you been taking time off work?” So I could tell them. It might even mean I could meet them earlier in the evening than before.
But many of them are business owners, and I’m worried they might think I’m being spoiled or that I’m not very serious, and lose interest in me…
What would you all think if you were in their position?
👤Asked byGuest👩GenderFemale🎂20s👑Universe female member
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Record evidence of the workplace harassment, such as by making audio recordings, and if you go to a labor union or the Labor Standards Inspection Office, they can help you with various things.
These days, workers are really well protected. Fuu is often on the employer’s side of labor negotiations, so I know, haha…
You don’t have to mention it—just say you haven’t been feeling well.
Even if you tell someone something negative, for people who just want lighthearted, fun papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), it might feel like too much.
On the other hand, wouldn’t it feel a little scary if a papa (a male supporter) said, “The pressure from work is too much, and I’m depressed right now. I want you to comfort me”?
It’s the same thing.
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If your papa (a male supporter) is someone you’ve always been able to talk to and consult about anything, there’s no problem with telling him right away. In fact, it may make it easier to meet more often and adjust your schedules. You could also talk with him about things like returning to work or changing jobs, and have a chance to get out and clear your head instead of staying cooped up.
On the other hand, if you’ve never had that kind of relationship before, you might not need to bring it up.
In the first place, doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) is already an unusual situation, and many people have pressing reasons for doing it. So taking an ordinary leave of absence—which isn’t particularly uncommon—usually isn’t a major obstacle.
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Once we’d gotten fairly comfortable with each other, I’d casually bring it up as if it were no big deal.
Because I kept it light, I don’t think they felt the need to be overly considerate. Their attitude and the frequency of our dates didn’t change, either.
I remember them often checking in on me, asking whether I was eating properly or if I might be anemic.
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I’d actually prefer them to tell me, but what do you think is generally the case? I don’t feel like it would be a plus.
That said, doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) has really made me realize how high the rate of mental health issues is among women.
Including binge-eating and purging, my impression is that only about two out of ten women are completely healthy with no issues at all.
Recently, I matched with a woman through Universe Club who had fairly severe depression. She seemed to be suffering so much that I stayed close and supported her, but as soon as she started feeling better, she suddenly stopped contacting me.
She seemed like she was about to start staying over every night, so I was honestly relieved.
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It’s the kind of thing people are likely to react to very differently.
A lot of working adults see a mental health professional, and even among those without a formal diagnosis, there are plenty of people who seem to be dealing with personal issues. Personally, that alone wouldn’t make me think someone was irresponsible or lose interest in them.
That said, if a partner’s condition is serious enough that they have to take a leave of absence from work, I’d feel I had to be considerate, which could be a bit difficult. Still, it would also make it easier to coordinate schedules, so I don’t think it’s necessarily negative across the board.
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