I’d like to ask for advice about situations where, after I report a problematic man to the club—such as someone who acted intimidatingly or became upset and ended the meeting when I asked him to use protection—the club asks whether they may mention my club name when warning him.

Unlike dating apps, where you’re on your own, make the most of having a club mediating between you and the other person. Even if you don’t tell the man your club name, the club will know from your report that it came from you. It’s understandable for women to feel uneasy about these things. If you don’t want to reveal your name, you don’t have to, and you shouldn’t feel guilty at all about keeping your club name private. On the other hand, please make sure to report any complaints, problems, or grievances properly. That way, other female members won’t end up in the same situation, and reliable, safe papas can remain as male members.

Thank you for your question. My name is Kurosaki from the Shinsaibashi branch of Universe Club. I’m sorry for the inconvenience caused. To get straight to the point, simply reporting it to us is already extremely helpful. The survey includes a “Fact Check” section, so if you select “No” and we still go out of our way to verify it, then the question loses its purpose, doesn’t it? If you’ve already decided that you won’t be meeting the woman again, you may be willing to provide her name, but it’s understandable that this can be difficult when there’s no benefit to doing so. We keep the information you provide on record as data. If we receive similar reports, we may issue an indirect warning or, depending on the circumstances, require the person to leave the club. Ideally, we’d like those men to improve their behavior, so we’d appreciate it if you could continue reporting such incidents to us.

If you’re genuinely afraid of psychological retaliation, I think it would be fine to write that in your feedback and ask them not to contact you. If you’re the only person who files a complaint, they may conclude that there’s no issue with the man. But if they receive a lot of similar feedback, they’ll likely determine that the problem is probably on his end. To protect the women who come after you, I believe it’s best to give clear, thorough feedback about anyone who is obviously problematic.

When we receive a report from a woman, we ask whether it’s okay to share the matter with the man involved (and vice versa). That’s because hearing only one side can be biased and lead to a different assessment. Universe doesn’t act like a court and decide who is right or wrong, but we still can’t know the truth without hearing both sides. For that reason, when a woman reports something, we generally ask the man for his side as well. Of course, we understand that this could lead to resentment or retaliation, so we always confirm first whether it’s okay to contact him. That said, in cases of voyeuristic filming, if the woman can provide photographic evidence of the hidden camera or recording device, we can forcefully terminate the man’s membership without even needing to ask for his side. (That said, he will know which date the report relates to.) And now, it’s not just a matter of local ordinances—the voyeurism offense has been established as a crime. If the woman files a complaint, the man could be arrested and subsequently face: “Imprisonment for up to three years or a fine of up to 3 million yen.” Naturally, if he is arrested, the case could also be reported on TV or elsewhere, meaning he could lose his social standing in addition to having to pay a fine. To avoid being arrested and having the case reported in the news, the man would need to reach a settlement with the woman before his arrest. Naturally, I think it’s understandable for the woman to seek the maximum fine of 3 million yen. If she is a well-known person, the settlement could potentially be even higher. Before the voyeurism offense was established, settlements of around 500,000 to 1 million yen were apparently common, but things are different now. Once a woman has properly secured the evidence, I think it’s reasonable for her to expect a settlement of 3 million yen. If the other party says that’s impossible, she can simply go to the police. The shock of being filmed without consent is probably greater than the money involved, so it wouldn’t be surprising if she decided that making the man face an appropriate punishment was more important than negotiating a settlement. Offering him the chance to settle beforehand is, in my opinion, “an act of mercy.” (Ainz Ooal Gown) Anyway, getting back to the main point: If a man has done something wrong, reporting it leaves a record with us. Even if we haven’t been able to confirm it with him, if three or more women submit the same report, he is clearly in the wrong. In that case, he may still be forced to leave the club even without us contacting him. So, even if you decline permission to share your club name with the man, your report still has meaning. Please continue to report anything that makes you uncomfortable. Even if it doesn’t result in forced termination, staff will keep an eye on men like that.

I’ve made two reports before. ① Early on, I met a woman whose dating type was C. After dinner, I suggested an adult relationship (intimate), but she turned me down, saying, “I’d rather not from the first meeting.” I had no problem with being rejected, but if she was type C, saying “not from the first meeting” seemed strange. I reported it as a dating-type scam, but the staff took a long time to reply. I don’t remember exactly what they said, but they didn’t seem motivated and didn’t appear to warn her. I was left feeling as though I’d just embarrassed myself for nothing. ② This type no longer exists, but there used to be a dating type E described as “prioritizing meeting people; no transportation allowance needed.” Curious what kind of woman she was, I met her, but she seemed to be recruiting people for a multilevel marketing scheme. I reported it. She left the service soon afterward, but I never received any particular response, so I don’t know whether she was warned. This isn’t something that happened to me, but I know a man who was reported by a woman and received a warning. They had dinner on their first meeting and agreed to have an adult relationship (intimate) next time. While he was taking her to the station by taxi, they were sitting side by side in the back seat, and he took her hand and had her touch his erect crotch. I assume he thought it would be fine because they had already agreed to be intimate. She got out at the station and went home as usual, but the next day the staff contacted him and asked, “She says you did something inappropriate to her without her consent in the back seat of the taxi. Is that true?” Apparently, the man’s thoughts at the time were: “What a strange woman. I’d better not get involved with her any further,” and, “There’s no video evidence, so I should just deny it and say I didn’t do anything.” I think I would have felt the same way. He said, “I didn’t do anything like that.” He didn’t hold a grudge against her or try to get revenge. He just thought about getting away, and decided to be more careful and stop doing things like that in the future. Based on all this, I think reports do have a deterrent effect, and even if someone holds a grudge, it probably doesn’t lead to an actual act of retaliation. Someone like me might remember it and keep bringing it up in answers as an “example of a dating-type scam,” though. Also, one possible downside of reporting is that the staff may put the person making the report on a watch list as “some troublesome, strange woman (or man).” Who knows. As for “being treated intimidatingly” or “the man becoming upset and stopping when asked to use protection,” an “intimidating attitude” is subjective in the first place. And in the protection example, he stopped; it’s not as though he forced the situation to continue without protection, so no actual harm occurred. It probably depends on the staff member handling the case, but I feel they might be just as likely to label the woman “strange” as to label the man “dangerous.” Whether or not the questioner gives her name, the man involved will probably figure out who reported him. So that part doesn’t really matter. Aren’t you reporting him out of spite because you had an unpleasant experience? You may be holding up the banner of “for the safety of other women,” but still. When someone makes you uncomfortable, you can simply distance yourself from them. Overreporting will only make the questioner herself seem like “a strange person.”