I feel like this is pretty common, and I want to believe I’m not the only one—but when we hug, aren’t there way too many men who casually trace—or at least, think they’re casually tracing—the outline of your bra on your back? They’re actually pretty obvious about it.

He touched the clasp of my bra… Am I being overly self-conscious? I mean, if we’re hugging, I guess we’re going to do something along those lines anyway. But still… it’s pretty obvious what he’s doing, isn’t it? Maybe he touched the middle of my back so casually because he wanted to see how I’d react? But when you hug someone, their hands would normally be around your shoulders. The bra clasp is in such an awkward, in-between spot.

I wasn’t sure what the term meant, so I searched for “hibiku.” It seems to refer to the outline of a bra showing through clothing—mainly whether the bra’s bumps and contours are visible or not. Apparently, seamless bras, bralettes, and day-and-night bras are less likely to show through. However, I couldn’t find much about people using the term to refer to the back area, so is this perhaps a word the questioner came up with, or one used only among people around them? As for the main point, I’ve never heard women talk about it that way, nor have I ever heard a man say something like, “You’re supposed to trace along it, right?” So it seems to be a minority opinion.

I’m having dinner with two women who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) right now, so I asked them because I didn’t understand the part about “a bra showing through on your back.” Neither of them knew what it meant. So I don’t think it’s something that “everyone experiences.” Just yesterday, while hugging an 18-year-old virgin, I slipped my hand in from the front under her shirt and checked how her bra—a sports-bra-type one—and breasts fit. She said she was an A cup, but I thought there was no way that was true—probably a C cup. I guess she’s never had herself measured. That’s probably something common among 18-year-old virgins. Next time I see her, I’m thinking of taking her to a lingerie shop, having her measured, and buying her something cute. So yes, there are times when I touch someone for that purpose. I can understand touching from the front, but what’s enjoyable about touching someone’s back? Isn’t the questioner just reading too much into it? So that’s what “a bra showing through” means? I had no idea. Anyway, I guess the questioner imagined that having that part of the bra touched meant the breasts connected to it were being touched indirectly. But to a man, the straps on someone’s back are just straps. Sorry to disappoint you.

Who knows? I wouldn’t do it. I’m not a middle schooler, so I can’t understand the desire to touch someone’s bra through their clothes.