I’m scheduled to be hospitalized soon for about two months, and I’ve been seeing a 23-year-old working woman I met through Universe Club for about three years. I’m thinking of offering her an allowance during my hospitalization equivalent to about 60% of our average monthly amount over the past three years. Zero seems too little, while the full amount seems too much, so I settled on slightly more than half.
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Our arrangement currently consists of seeing each other two or three times a month for an adult relationship (intimate) and messaging every day.
Would 60% be reasonable?
👤Asked byGuest👨GenderMale🎂60s👑Universe male member
This question isn’t about me, by the way（笑）
Your dating style is pretty much the same as mine（笑） Since you’re working and earning a decent income, I think it’s “reasonable” to use this as a way to give your income a little boost.
Just confirm the amount, and if she says she wants a bit more, you can increase it.
Most likely, she won’t say anything, though.
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Setting aside the Showa era, what kind of illness would require a two-month hospital stay these days? I can only think of psychiatric hospitalization.
Are you sure she’s really in the hospital?
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I do wonder why you wouldn’t discuss it with her directly, though.
It should be an amount that makes her think, “Thank you so much for doing this for me while I’m hospitalized and going through a difficult time.”
I think Paper Airplane is probably right.
You’ll have to decide for yourself whether she’s someone you genuinely want to do that much for.
Marika
I skimmed over this part, but saying 100% seems like a lot—so I guess you probably don’t really want to give that much.
Mac
I thought so too. It’s a long time, isn’t it?
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That’s the kind of thing where you should suggest terms that would make the other person absolutely thrilled if they heard them.
Instead of worrying about whether they’ll agree, let’s think of an offer they couldn’t possibly turn down.
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Before thinking about yourself,
you should be concerned about the woman’s situation first.
Being hospitalized for two months is
a pretty serious matter!
You have no freedom while you’re in the hospital,
and your level of consciousness can decline.
Precisely because she’s in that situation,
it would be perfectly reasonable to increase
her allowance more than usual.
Having two or three adult relationships a month
and messaging every day also feels like an obligation,
which can really kill the mood.
Wait, are you planning to keep doing this
while she’s hospitalized?
Surely not.
Since she’s in the hospital,
give her plenty of GIVE
and encourage her so she can get better
as soon as possible.
I think this could be
a chance for you to become even closer.
It’s me.
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I think 60% is about the right balance.
If she’s living entirely on the income from you, though, keep it at 100% with no changes.
I wonder whether they actually enjoy messaging on LINE every day. Unless one of them is particularly good with words, it sounds like they may be doing it reluctantly.
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Thanks for your question. I’ll weigh in as well.
> About 60% of the average monthly amount over the past three years
That wording sounds familiar. Is that figure perhaps based on Article 26 of the Labor Standards Act, which states:
“When a business is suspended for reasons attributable to the employer, the employer must pay the worker an allowance equivalent to at least 60% of their average wage for the duration of the suspension”?
But that says “60% or more,” meaning 60% is simply the minimum, and there’s no restriction on paying more.
That said, I’m a little uncomfortable with treating a woman’s allowance as equivalent to wages in the first place.
If the 60% is based on meeting 60% as often, then I can see the logic—but just because something is logically consistent doesn’t necessarily make it right.
I think it would be best to discuss it and decide together with the other person.
Also, regarding:
> Adult relationship (intimate) two or three times a month, with daily messages.
Isn’t that about the same frequency as before? That’s what I find myself wondering.
Even if you reduce the allowance to 60%, continuing to message her every day gives me a somewhat bad impression of the person asking this question.
Do you mean that you’re only visiting her in the hospital, without intimacy? Even so, having you come every day sounds like it would be quite demanding.
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Whether it’s reasonable or not depends on each person’s values.
Perhaps you’re asking the wrong person for advice.
If you’ve been seeing each other for three years, surely you should be able to have one or two conversations like that.
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