Are there really so few papas you can talk to about anything—including dating, your boyfriend, and relationships with other papas? My personality is such that if someone wants a serious romantic relationship through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), I absolutely can’t do it unless I’m paid accordingly. I’m only attracted romantically and sexually to people my own age, around 20–29. (I’m a 20-year-old university student.)
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So far, I’ve had monthly arrangements with two men where I acted like their girlfriend—meeting three or four times a month for ¥200,000—but it was so stressful that I couldn’t handle it. I realized I’d need at least ¥300,000–¥400,000 for that to be possible.
The man I’m currently seeing without any stress is someone I can talk to about all his relationships with women. We meet twice a month, spend a short time together chatting and having fun, and he gives me ¥200,000 a month. There’s also a 40-year-old man who gives me ¥60,000–¥100,000 for spending two or three hours together without an adult relationship (intimate). He’s the serious-romance type. Since we meet in a private room, he sometimes touches my breasts or kisses me, which is a little uncomfortable, but because he gives me what most men would pay for an adult relationship without actually having one, I can tolerate it relatively well. I think serious-romance types are simply stressful for me. Nothing feels more unpleasant than affection from an older man who isn’t even someone I’m attracted to.
That’s why, basically, I only want to see men I can talk to about anything, enjoy chatting and sex with, and who give me a substantial allowance. Are men like that really rare? In the past, a man in his 50s whose appearance wasn’t at all my type told me he wanted to have a romantic relationship with me. I’m sorry to say this, but I found myself wondering if there was something wrong with him for saying that to a woman nearly 40 years younger than him.
Both men I’m currently seeing are very successful doctors who run their own practices, and I think they’re among the wealthiest men I’ve ever met. Most men at these clubs earn around ¥10–30 million a year and won’t give a substantial allowance without an adult relationship, while men earning over ¥100 million a year are rare. So is what I’m looking for simply unrealistic? I can’t be bothered to “train” a man into becoming more generous, and I won’t do it. My frustrations would explode long before that.
I’m Aya, a female member.
I also have two papas I can talk to about anything. Looks like we’re in the same boat. But I met dozens of men before finding those two, so the odds aren’t exactly great.
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Even with an allowance of 10,000–20,000 yen, I’ll normally spend 8–10 hours together with him. Even if he’s about 30 years older…
If we meet outside the club, there are times when we spend that long together—or even stay overnight—without an allowance.
Honestly, you’re basically not suited to papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). In fact, you’re so unsuited to it that you probably shouldn’t do it at all.
So that means men like that are extremely rare.
—Paper Airplane
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Realistically, isn’t there a limit to just sitting back and waiting for offers on Universe?
Wouldn’t it be more practical to find that kind of man yourself and approach him—basically, get him to become your papa?
You could work at a Ginza club, go to members-only bars in Tokyo, apply for some Miss Whatever pageant and look for a sponsor… I don’t know, just throwing out ideas.
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
Since you’ve got those two, isn’t that good enough? lol
A lot of people come to this Q&A complaining about stress and all the things they have to put up with, but aren’t these things they’ve chosen to do themselves? In other words, are they basically asking to be praised for their efforts?
Lately, I’ve even started wondering whether bragging about how much stress or hardship you endure is some kind of status symbol for PJ girls.
Anyway, you’re doing a great job! Thanks for all your hard work!
The year is almost over, isn’t it? Please take good care of yourself and stay healthy. I can’t exactly concern myself with everyone else’s happiness, but I can at least wish for it—so let me wish you all the best!
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
That’s a good question.
> Are there not many papas you can talk to about anything, including relationship advice, boyfriend problems, and issues involving other papas?
I’m the type of papa you can talk to about anything. I’m not sure whether that’s common or rare, but I think some of the other people answering questions here are the same way.
I think it’s best to take things at your own pace without pushing yourself too hard. I also try to keep my arrangements easy on my wallet and not overdo it.
An arrangement won’t last unless both people are having fun and benefiting from it, after all（笑).
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Your question is extremely long and rambling, so it’s hard to tell what you’re actually asking.
Perhaps what you want to know is: “Basically, I only want to date men I can talk to about anything, enjoy chatting and sex with, and who give me a substantial allowance. Are there really so few men like that?”
Being able to discuss anything, enjoy conversation, enjoy sex, and receive a substantial amount—all of these are subjective judgments on your part. So whether there are many or few men who make you feel that way depends on you.
That said, in general, simply finding someone you enjoy talking and having sex with can be quite difficult. And the more qualities you look for in a partner, the rarer it becomes to find someone who meets all of them. So yes, there are probably very few.
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