I’m going on an Christmas Eve date with my papa (a male supporter), but I’m not happy with a plan that doesn’t include a present, lol.
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We’ve known each other for two years, but I’ve always had a boyfriend before, so this is our first time spending Christmas together.
When I told him that, he said he was really looking forward to seeing me.
We’re very close, so even though he isn’t my boyfriend, I’m happy that we get to go on a date.
......But then!!!!
“I want to create a wonderful Christmas Eve for you, so leave the planning to me!!!”
Two days ago, he sent me a shocking date itinerary.
Basically:
1:00 p.m. Meet up
1:30–3:30 p.m. Spa treatment for the two of us at the hotel where we’ll be staying
4:00–5:00 p.m. Watch some Christmas projection mapping or illuminations near the hotel
5:30–7:30 p.m. Sushi dinner
8:00 p.m. Return to the hotel (It’s a suite! I’d love it if we could stay the night! —he added)
8:30–9:30 p.m. Relaxation massage in the room
10:00 p.m. onward: adult relationship (intimate)
If we don’t stay... I’ll arrange a car service so you can get home by 1:00 a.m.!
If we do stay... I’ll reserve a Western-style breakfast to be served in the room!
He also sent me URLs for the hotel breakfast, spa, projection mapping or illuminations, and sushi, along with the minute-by-minute schedule...
First of all, meeting so early is too much. I don’t want my hair and makeup, which I took time to style, to get messed up at the spa. It’ll be rushed trying to touch up my makeup in the 30 minutes afterward. I’m not going to get excited over some incredibly tacky illuminations, and I don’t need a massage after sushi. If breakfast is being served in the room, I should be able to choose what I want, and I’d prefer Japanese food in the morning.
And so on—I have all sorts of issues with the plan.
The only thing I’m looking forward to is the sushi.
So I revised the plan myself:
5:00 p.m. Meet up and choose my present
6:30 p.m. Sushi
9:00 p.m. Return to the hotel
Give papa a surprise Christmas present, have fun together, and let the night get hot from there
Something this simple would be perfectly fine.
With all my previous boyfriends, they’d already been asking me around this time what I wanted for Christmas, and I used to look forward to that.
I know papa and a boyfriend are two different things, so maybe I should respect his pride and go along with what he wants. But just imagining spending the whole day pretending to enjoy this plan has suddenly made me dread Christmas Eve.
He’s not a bad person...
He probably has both the financial means and the kindness to buy me anything if I asked.
But since he didn’t include anything like that in his plan, I can’t help wondering if he simply doesn’t want to give me a present.
What would you do in this situation?
Also, is it considered a no-go for a papa-katsu girl to ask her papa for a present?
I’m BB7.
You’re trying to cram in far too much.
The men are something else, but so are the women who lay out all their plans here.
Well, do as you please.
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I’ll answer as “Maezawa from the president’s office” as well.
You could explain that you already have plans to go shopping with a female friend during the day, or that you had work come up, and ask to start from the sushi dinner at 5:30 p.m.
Since the latter half of his plan seems to be what he has in mind anyway, it might work well as a compromise.
As for the gift, there’s a good chance he considers this whole arrangement itself to be the gift. (The part about it being a suite does have a gift-like feel to it.)
First, you could work in something along the lines of, “I’d be happy as long as I’m with you, even if it isn’t a suite,” and then say:
“I can’t buy anything too expensive as a present for you, so what would you like?”
“I’d love ___, but that’s probably too expensive, right?”
“I’m looking forward to seeing what kind of presents we’ll exchange that day.”
Something like that might steer the conversation toward exchanging gifts.
Then he might change the suite to a regular room and add a present using the difference, plus a little extra.
He may not think of it that way, though.
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Well, you’re not going to get the gifts you want from that papa. Honestly, I wouldn’t want to give you anything either…
You should end things with your partner as soon as possible…
Even he was planning to prepare something as simple as a gift…
That’s my two cents.
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I’m columnist Fuu.
^_^
The papa is so happy that he’s getting a little too enthusiastic, and the questioner has a whole list of requests. It feels like they’re both trying a bit too hard. I enjoyed reading it.
You’ll be meeting before Christmas too, right? When you see him, try casually suggesting some schedule changes and checking about a present without hurting his feelings:
“I think I’m good with the massage after dinner now. I’d rather have some private time with you, XX.”
“Could we have a little more time to touch up my makeup after the esthetic treatment?”
“Rather than the projection mapping, I’d prefer to relax in a room alone with you, XX.”
“I wonder if my Santa will bring me a present… Is it okay for me to look forward to one?”
I just wrote down some subtly calculated ways of asking. Adjust them to suit the questioner’s personality and the papa’s character.
Some papas may get annoyed if you ask too directly about a present, so there might be a better way to bring it up. Give it some thought.
Getting a gift you don’t want isn’t exactly exciting, is it? Presents can be tricky in papa-katsu. If someone bluntly says, “I want a present,” Fuu immediately loses interest.
In the questioner’s case, it would be ideal if she could get the papa to ask, “What would you like?” But…
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It does seem like a bit too much all packed into one plan.
I’m sure he’s trying hard, though.
It really comes across as, “Let’s make memories together!”
So, am I right in understanding that you get along well with your papa (a male supporter) on your usual short dates, but you’re not really interested in spending long, drawn-out periods with him making memories like a couple?
If that’s how you feel, your honest thought might be, “If you have that much time and money, just buy me a present! ♡”
Why not try asking him sweetly if he could revise the plan?
Akari
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
This gave me a bit of a laugh first thing in the morning lol.
You say you want to preserve your papa’s pride, but it’s pretty funny that you’ve revealed this much detail to strangers. If your papa happened to see this, it might shock him into losing seven kilos.
So, basically, you just want a present, right? Why not simply ask him? Wouldn’t that settle it?
It’s a surreal post, considering it’s framed as a question but seems to have another agenda. I just feel sorry for both of you, though what do I know?
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It does seem like he may be trying a little too hard, but if things have been good between you so far, I’d let it slide.
That said, if you’re expected to do a day-and-night double-header and meet at 1:00 p.m., then that’s a different story.
And with a plan like that, of course he’d be bringing a gift.
You could also gently suggest choosing either the spa or the massage, since you don’t need both. Maybe say something like, “I’d rather spend some quiet time together in the room,” or something along those lines.
Marika
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Wouldn’t he give you a present?
If he lays out his plan this thoroughly, there’d be zero surprise, so I’d deliberately keep the gift hidden.
Then, the moment you walk into the room, there’s an overly dramatic bouquet of roses—and a Cartier watch, aaah!
Please let us know how it goes!
You don’t often see a papa this enthusiastic, so I’m kind of rooting for him, lol.
—Makeout Loser
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