I happened to learn how my ace girl of five years really feels, and it was an enormous shock.
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I’m a middle-aged man myself, and I’ve had plenty of experience with relationships, so I’m well aware of the two sides of women connected to me through money, of course.
Even so, the bitterness of what I learned this time was on another level.
For a while now, I haven’t been able to eat and have lost 7 kg.
(I tell my family I can’t eat because of stomach pain. In reality, I’m experiencing unexplained stress-related pain, nausea, and chills.)
She still doesn’t know that I found out how she really feels.
So I can’t say anything and am enduring this alone.
How did you all manage to get through something like this?
Please share your wisdom.
I’m BB7.
Five years is a long time.
Why not consider that your own trial has some important meaning, and that this timing also means something? Be grateful and say thank you, then move forward.
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I’m Joe.
You seem to be quite the older guy, and as you admit yourself, you’re well aware that women in the club scene can have two sides. And yet you’re shocked to discover feelings from this woman that you never imagined she had. I can understand how you feel.
But is anyone’s true heart really that simple? In our experience as older men, a woman’s feelings aren’t always clearly one thing or the other—they can be difficult to label as either her “real” side or her “public” side. Do you really think her feelings are just one color?
This may not be much consolation, but perhaps we don’t have enough time left to take an unnecessary shock and let it turn into a bigger issue.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
Where did you find out about it? Through a private account or something?
I’ve been stuck at home because of COVID and gained weight that I can’t seem to lose, so I’m jealous that you managed to lose 7 kg.
I think it gets harder when you focus on just one person, so why not date multiple nice girls?
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As Osaka-san said, that’s exactly right.
No matter how it happens, saying goodbye to my ace is bound to hurt, so I’m nurturing a second-string ace too—or rather, he’s the one nurturing me.
If it were me, I’d try to get through it somehow by seeing my second-string ace often and convincing myself everything was okay.
Even so, I’m scared, so I’m trying to develop feelings for the A-type girl I recently started seeing, even if only a little.
—A loser of a man
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I’m Osaka, a male member.
Why not try repeatedly asking yourself the same questions, weighing Flagmaker’s and Mac’s answers equally?
I tried imagining the situation happening to me, and while I’d probably pretend I’d gotten over it coolly lol, I think it would actually hurt. I know papa-katsu is what it is, but as long as you’re dealing with another person, I don’t think I’m capable of completely detaching myself emotionally either. I guess all you can do is accept that it’s just part of her nature. Either let yourself feel down honestly, or turn the facts into a version of the truth that works for you.
By the way, you mentioned an “ace,” so you must be seeing other people too, right? Wasn’t that why you were doing this in the first place?
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
You don’t need to escape. This kind of pain is something you should deliberately experience. You spent money and got to have a valuable experience. At my age, I’m still capable of feeling this miserable. But I’m alive. I can still breathe. Happy! That’s the kind of feeling.
All you need to survive is a single leaf.
Search for “Hっぱ隊 YATTA!”
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How did you find out?
Did you look at her LINE messages or private posts without her knowing?
Have you been able to talk with her since then?
There’s no point in sinking into depression and making yourself ill all alone. Not being able to eat or sleep, or playing the victim, won’t help either...
Pull yourself together. You’re a papa-katsu papa (a male supporter), aren’t you?
Akari
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I haven’t experienced that level of painful honesty myself, so I’m not really in a position to give advice.
But putting myself in your shoes, I’d want to have a relationship with someone I’m seeing where we can talk openly about anything. So after five years together, finding out how she truly feels only then might be painful in itself.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
What exactly happened? I think my advice would depend on how serious the hardship is and whether or not you plan to end things with your ace.
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