I always enjoy reading the Q&A section.
I recently met someone through Universe.
We went out for dinner twice, and on the third date, we had a hotel date.
He took a shower first, but I could hear him singing along to music on his phone.
Since he had seemed quite serious and reserved, I thought the contrast was amusing. So I casually joked, “I didn’t expect you to sing in the shower,” while laughing.
After I got home that day, I sent him a thank-you message:
“Your singing was such an amusing contrast! Thank you again for today ^ ^”
However, it seems I made him uncomfortable.
He told me, “I don’t appreciate being laughed at.”
I didn’t mean it in a negative way at all. I genuinely thought it was funny and enjoyable, so I sent the message that way. But since it made him uncomfortable, I apologized briefly.
Honestly, I never expected things to turn out this way, and I still feel a little confused about it.
What would be the best way to handle this?
Also, would men generally find a message like this offensive?
I look forward to your responses.
This is Saito, the column writer♪
Was I supposed to say, “You have a lovely voice”? LOL
I don’t understand it either, but I guess you never know what might set someone off—whether they’re a man or a woman...
Let’s look for another man!
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I’m Ayase Nana ♡
Basically, you shouldn’t make fun of men.
You told him over LINE that he was “funny,” right?
“Funny” can come across as making fun of him, so that wasn’t a good choice.
“Fun,” “happy,” or “pleasant” would probably have been better.
Just be more careful next time.
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This is Fuu, a column writer.
There hasn’t been much communication yet, so it’s hard to say for sure, but he sounds like a papa (a male supporter) with a pretty high opinion of himself.
If you tease him, doing it in person with a smile is probably the limit. It may be best to avoid teasing him over LINE.
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Well, please just understand that there are some men who feel that way.
I don’t think most men would get upset over something like that.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Since you’re seen as a rather serious, stiff person, she probably took your laughter as mockery or felt that you were making fun of her.
Some men from the Showa era still believe that women should be demure and ladylike.
If she says she was uncomfortable, the best thing to do is simply apologize without arguing.
Even if you say, “I just thought the contrast was funny,” it will sound like an excuse and only make her view of you worse.
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Maezawa from the president’s office here with an answer as well.
Since you’re from different generations, something you consider perfectly normal may make the other person uncomfortable.
For example, if the man said to the questioner:
“Wait, you shave down there? That’s hilarious, hahaha.
I like the contrast.
Don’t laugh,
hahahaha.”
they might think, “What is this guy doing? We’ve only just met,” and feel uncomfortable.
But perhaps he actually likes women who shave and thought he was complimenting her.
So, what was wrong?
I think the important thing is to be cautious until you’ve had a chance to communicate and get to know each other.
Once you’ve become friendly, I don’t think there was anything wrong with what the questioner said this time, and I don’t think the other person would have felt uncomfortable either.
> I apologized because the other person felt uncomfortable.
As long as it doesn’t come across as making excuses, I think it would be good to explain the reason as well.
Someone who gives off a very serious, formal impression may have seemed like there was a gap between their image and reality, but in fact they may simply be a genuinely serious person.
So perhaps this is someone who needs to be approached with extra formality.
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