I’m a losing male member.
It might help to imagine a “self gacha.”
For example, if I could be reborn as Shohei Ohtani, I absolutely would. I’m insanely jealous of him.
But since it’s a gacha, I might end up in a slum in South Africa or North Korea, unable to secure even today’s meal—or I might be reborn as a cockroach.
What would you do if you were in the questioner’s position?
If you don’t play the gacha, you stay as you are. But if you do, you might become Minami Hamabe—or you might be kidnapped by the mafia, have your limbs amputated, and become the sex slave of a perverted rich man. Would you still play?
I’m more than satisfied with who I am now, and even if I were reborn, I’d want to be myself again.
I don’t want to play the gacha.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
There’s nothing productive about simply feeling envious.
If there’s a chance I can become that way myself, I’ll take action toward it.
If there’s no chance, then there’s no point thinking about it, so I don’t.
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I’m Taro, a male member.
I do feel envious sometimes. But the next moment, I start thinking about how I could obtain whatever it is I’m envious of. And if the feeling is strong enough, I take action.
In your case, you’re envious of women who never did papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), so it also sounds like regret over your own choices. Since you can’t undo what you’ve done, I think it’s closer to regret than longing. I’ve had plenty of regrets like that myself. The same goes for dating clubs—there are good and bad sides, and I do have some regrets about them.
But time can’t be turned back, so all we can do is move forward. I try to learn from my regrets and apply those lessons to what comes next. Not everything you experience is necessarily right; learning that something was wrong precisely because you experienced it is also a valuable lesson. What matters is following the path that feels right for you. Lessons learned from failure can give you conviction and a certain strength in the eyes of others, so I don’t think they’re necessarily a bad thing.
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Rather than feeling envious, I think it’s impressive.
Is what you’re feeling just regret? Does it go away when the positive experiences outweigh the negative ones?
Marika
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I was thinking about whether I’d feel jealous if I heard that a friend had won a billion yen in the lottery. I might feel envious for a moment, but since there would be nothing I could do about it, I think that feeling would quickly fade.
So I tried hard to remember something I’d genuinely felt jealous of. Recently, I recall hearing that someone had visited Niagara Falls and feeling envious. It seems I tend to feel jealous of things I could achieve with a little effort.
In my case, I think I could get rid of that feeling by going to see Niagara Falls myself—in other words, by experiencing something I haven’t experienced yet.
As for your feeling of envy toward women who have never done papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan), that’s something impossible to achieve because you can’t go back in time. So I don’t think I would feel jealous of them.
But since you do feel that way, let’s think about why.
I suspect you envy women who have never done papa-katsu because the unpleasant experiences you’ve had through papa-katsu outweigh the good ones.
If that’s the case, I feel the envy may fade once the good experiences outweigh the bad. Perhaps you should aim to have some successful experiences through papa-katsu.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Lately, I haven’t really been feeling jealous of others… Though I might be a little envious of women with gravure-idol-like figures.
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