I’m a woman in my 20s who recently started papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan). I’m unsure when to ask about the future terms of the arrangement and the exact allowance during the first meeting.
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I’m worried that bringing up money might upset the men, so I’m having trouble finding the right moment.
Could you tell me a good way and time to bring it up?
I’m a male member, Paper Airplane.
If something makes you uneasy, I think it’s best to ask and confirm early on.
If you feel you can be comfortable and trust the person, I don’t think there’s any need to go out of your way to ask or double-check.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I don’t think women need to be the ones to bring it up.
If a man doesn’t bring up the allowance, I recommend ending things there and then. He’s probably hoping for a relationship without having to provide an allowance.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
This is the moment when he invites you into an adult relationship (intimate).
When he says, “How about going to a room after this?” and doesn’t explain the allowance, ask him about it. Make sure you clarify everything so there are no questions or doubts.
A good papa (a male supporter) from Universe will explain the terms from his side. However, some bad papas and papas from apps or websites may take you to a room without properly discussing things, then try to get away with paying less afterward.
Make sure you agree on the terms of the arrangement beforehand.
If you’re worried, clearly say, “Please use protection,” and take steps to protect yourself.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
I think you should ask about it before entering the room. Consider for yourself the latest point at which you’d still be able to refuse, even if they offer you a low allowance.
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Maezawa from the CEO’s Office here.
As for when to bring it up, I think the best timing is when you’re invited to pursue an adult relationship (intimate).
For example, if he asks:
“Would you be available next time?”
or
“Are you free after this today?”
that would be a good time to ask, “How much allowance would that involve?”
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Generally, I think the man will bring it up rather than waiting for the woman to do so.
Be careful with men who try to move on from the first-meeting coffee or dinner without discussing the allowance. Even if he suggests going to a hotel or doing something else after the first meeting, you should ask about the allowance yourself if he hasn’t brought it up.
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According to our research, there’s a 98.6% chance that any papa (a male supporter) who won’t mention the allowance until the woman asks is a person to avoid.
So the person in front of you isn’t a human being but an “object (landmine),” and it’s perfectly fine to ask about the allowance amount mechanically without worrying about anything.
You can ask at any point, but no matter how late it is, make sure to ask before agreeing to go to a private room.
— Makeo
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