Has a woman you met through an offer and were seeing ever told you, “I don’t need an allowance anymore”? When she said that, what did you do? (How did things develop afterward?)
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What do you think a woman’s mindset is when she says something like this? She knows that I’m married, so I’m wondering what would make her say it despite knowing that.
I’d appreciate some insight from those of you with more experience.
I’m Hikōki, a male member.
Rather than deciding on an allowance and handing it over as such, I think it’s better to have a normal relationship—or genuine papa-katsu—where you simply show your feelings with some spending money or a little reward.
I don’t consider setting a specific allowance amount and proceeding on that basis to be genuine, natural papa-katsu.
I think it’s fine to start out as a new connection.
There’s no need to hand over money as an allowance or agree on a specific amount.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
It’s about wanting to do something nice for men. It’s like two women at the register saying, “I’ll pay,” “No, I will.” You want the other person to appreciate you.
You’re not going to seriously fall in love with a married older man. So even if he says you don’t need an allowance, don’t think, “Lucky me!” Try giving him the usual allowance anyway. I’m sure he’ll have a much better impression of you.
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I’m in Seattle.
Probably not with Universe. Even if they asked me, I’d turn them down.
Before Universe, there were a few times when I was genuinely dating someone, but I was cheating too, so I’m sorry, I’m sorry.
Instead of giving them an allowance, I taught them about stocks and helped them make money.
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I can’t say what’s going on in their head, but if you want to draw a line, you should probably hand it over while saying, “That’s not okay.”
Unless you don’t mind things turning into a real mess.
Marika
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I’m a male member—and a bit of a loser.
Let me answer from a different angle.
When I meet someone for business, I never let them pay for meals or coffee, even if I’m the client. Absolutely never. The only people I let treat me are seniors I’ve known since my student days—and maybe McDonald’s.
I don’t want anyone trying to one-up me. I don’t want to create a hierarchy. That’s why I don’t let people pay.
In business, I always want to have the upper hand. I don’t act arrogant, but I do want to establish that position.
So, by the same token, I absolutely hate being treated—that is, having someone else gain the upper hand.
Based on my example, try considering the mindset behind saying, “I don’t need an allowance.”
Also:
× No allowance = genuinely in love
〇 No allowance ≒ genuinely in love
There are also cases where people genuinely fall in love even when an allowance is involved.
Relationships between men and women are deeply complicated. Assuming your own experience applies universally is what you might call “being stupid.”
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
I’ve never been told, “I won’t need you going forward.” However, I have been told several times, “I don’t need it this time.”
Before joining Universe, a woman once told me, “I won’t need you going forward,” to get my attention. But I was already planning to end things, so we parted ways.
No one else can know what another person is thinking, so ask her directly. Why are there so many people who won’t face the other person and instead ask strangers?
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