Since I also only meet once a month, seeing questions like this makes me nervous.
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https://universe-club.jp/help/questions/view/9756
No matter how much I like her, I basically only meet her once a month. It feels like they often stop responding or end things after about six months, though...
I suppose they’d be less likely to cut ties if I gave them the amount of money they needed each month, but I have children and a family, so I can’t spend that much on papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan).
Even if I’m only their second or third choice, how can I maintain a low-key, long-term relationship with them?
I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
Six months means something different to an old guy than it does to a young woman. Still, breakups happen. It is what it is.
Even if you get along well, papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) eventually comes to an end. The possibility of parting is built into the relationship.
Actually, the only one who thinks you’re close is the man. To the woman, it’s a job. Just a job.
The most we men can do is make it a “comfortable, well-paying job” for her.
Update:
Suddenly getting so many likes is kind of scary—or maybe just sad. At least while you’re with us, let us old guys keep dreaming. I’ll do my best to make it a “comfortable, well-paying job.” Let’s both put in the effort.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
I also see my partner about once a month, and I’ve been able to maintain ongoing arrangements with the women I genuinely want to continue seeing.
I don’t offer an outrageously high allowance, either.
My main strategy is simply to avoid getting involved with women who only want to see one man.
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I’m Basil, a male member.
Assuming the allowance and chemistry meet the woman’s minimum expectations, I try to work around her schedule. If it’s during a gap in her rotation, it’s not a bad deal for her either.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
For me, the basic arrangement is also once a month, though I have multiple supporters.
It’s true that arrangements with some girls end after three to six months, but I put a thorough strategy into practice and take good care of my favorite monthly supporters, so some have continued for as long as five years, a year and a half, or a year.
That’s my own know-how, so I’d need an allowance to teach it—I won’t share it here（笑）
I can make it work, but for people who find it too much trouble, I think it’s perfectly fine to continue for six months, then make another offer and look for someone new.
Universe benefits too, since the girls doing papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) get more offers.
And the person asking the question gets to date a fresh, new girl, so everyone wins.
Isn’t it perfectly fine for the arrangement to end after six months?
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If you’re giving an allowance of 100,000 yen or more and treating her like a gentleman, she’ll say, “I’d love to see you,” when you reach out—even if you haven’t seen or contacted her in three months.
At least, I’ve never been cut off.
If you act ungentlemanly, like, “I only want to see you occasionally for sex,” she might leave you on read, though.
—A loser guy
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If he’s a good person and you stay in steady contact, a monthly arrangement can continue without any problems.
For someone who lives far away and takes the bullet train to meet me, it’s about once every two months.
The allowance is just slightly above average.
Marika
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I’m a male member, and my username is Paper Airplane.
If she’s happy with the arrangement and it’s convenient for both of you, then meeting once a month isn’t really a relationship—it’s simply seeing each other occasionally. In that case, there’s no particular reason for her to cut things off, and unless something changes, I don’t think it will end.
As long as you can smoothly continue meeting whenever it works for both of you—whether you reach out when you want to see her or meet when she contacts you—I don’t think it will end or become a burden.
But if she starts to feel even a little burdened by it, meeting just once a month may still begin to feel like a hassle.
> “If I give her the amount she needs each month, she probably won’t cut me off.”
I don’t sense any real gentlemanly spirit in that way of thinking.
If you want to keep seeing her, it’s important not only to make yourself happy, but also to keep giving her little moments of joy through small, thoughtful gestures in your everyday interactions.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
A low-paying papa (a male supporter) on a monthly arrangement is at high risk of being dropped.
To be honest, for a popular woman, ¥50,000 is basically a break-even arrangement—or even slightly unfavorable—unless you’re exceptionally compatible.
You get the feeling that he’s probably seeing other women anyway, and there are health risks involved. If you’re not having a genuinely fun time talking together, there’s really no point in continuing.
In the past, I had someone who stayed with me for two years even on a monthly arrangement, but he gave me a generous allowance. That’s probably why it continued for as long as it did.
Even then, once I became closer and more lovey-dovey with my monthly papa, I stopped contacting him myself. I remember politely turning him down when he reached out.
So unfortunately, if you want to keep things going, the only option is to increase the allowance.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Are you asking how to keep the relationship going long-term while meeting once a month, without increasing the allowance and while remaining low-paying?
I think it’s more likely to last if you’re someone the woman feels comfortable with.
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