I joined because I wanted a long-term relationship with one man, since I’m worried about risks like illness, but most men could only meet once a month (rarely twice) for a pay-per-meeting allowance of around ¥50,000, so until I found someone I could see more often, I continued seeing several papas.
A few months ago, I found a papa who can meet me once a week and is willing to see me just for dinner even when I’m on my period, so I’m thinking of ending things with the papas I’ve only been seeing occasionally.
Things were fairly casual with all of them, so I was planning either to simply fade out or tell them I can’t meet anymore if they message me to ask. However, I’m supposed to meet one of them one last time this month.
That papa also only met me once a month, but he’s been seeing me for nearly a year, so I’d like to properly thank him and say goodbye in person.
Would it be better to tell him directly when we meet for the last time, or message him on LINE afterward?
I’m だて◎ゆめ, a male member.
I’m voting for Flag Maker!
I think it would be a good idea to do something a little different than usual when saying goodbye at the end. After parting ways, I think it’s best to say goodbye via LINE or another messaging app.
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I’m BB7.
I wouldn’t want either option.
Personally, I’d rather they just let me know as soon as possible that they can’t meet, without meeting up at all. Meeting someone who isn’t going to continue is a waste of time.
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I’m Fuu, a column writer.
I feel like it’s probably fine to meet as usual on the day you’ve already arranged, then not make any further plans, block them on LINE, and let things fade out…
It depends on the relationship, but if you tell them you want to end things and it turns into a mess, it could be a hassle.
From the papa’s perspective, it’s difficult and frustrating when someone cancels a confirmed date without saying anything. But if you haven’t made any plans yet and they suddenly stop responding, I think that’s just something you have to accept.
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I’m in Seattle.
Personally, I’d appreciate getting a LINE message after we’ve parted amicably, once he’s gotten home, saying goodbye and thanking me for everything.
I’m glad you found someone nice. If you part on good terms, you might end up as his backup someday.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
When you tell someone you’re ending things in person, you have to face their emotions right then and there. Isn’t that stressful?
Personally, I’d fade out after meeting them. I feel that way, there would be fewer emotional ups and downs for both of us.
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I’m a male member, “Paper Airplane.”
With a monthly arrangement, both sides are usually okay with it ending at any time, so even after a year, I don’t think it’s really a relationship in the usual sense.
After you’ve seen him for the last time, you could simply stop contacting him.
That said, there’s still a chance he may want to meet again six months, a year, or even several years later. So it may be worth staying in occasional contact.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
I like it when, during a meeting, something feels subtly different from usual. Then, after we part, I get a “goodbye text.” And I think, “Ah, so that’s what this is…” Personally, I like that.
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