After the trauma of being left by someone I thought would never leave, I’ve started thinking that I may never meet someone who surpasses her—but I’d like to find someone comparable and make sure she doesn’t leave. That’s how I’ve come to think about it.
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I feel that, at their core, most women who do papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) want to spend money on their appearance. Of course, there are also things like student loans, but isn’t beauty the fundamental subconscious motivation? It’s something all women have in common. There’s no woman who isn’t interested in it, right?
So I started wondering whether, instead of just giving an allowance, I could also provide a separate beauty allowance to keep her from leaving.
Even without going as far as cosmetic surgery, I thought that paying for things like hair salon visits, cosmetic IV drips at a dermatology clinic, or laser treatments might make her stay and grow attached to me. What kinds of things would specifically make women happy?
I’m Shingo Lee, a column writer.
The only person in this world who will never leave you until the day you die is yourself.
Friends, girlfriends, wives—even family members by blood may eventually leave you. Accept it.
And whether it’s beauty treatments or anything else, people leave because you’re such a boring person that you can’t find any solution other than money. Objects fall in the direction of gravity, but in human relationships, the harder you try to pull someone in, the farther away they go.
Simply put, I think your strategy is: “If I get her hooked on beauty treatments, maybe I can keep her tied to me forever through the cost of maintaining them.”
It’s not a terrible strategy, surprisingly, but rather than just “any woman,” I think you’ll only be able to keep hold of “difficult women.”
Personally, I think it would be more sensible to get her involved in education or business and keep her tied to you that way.
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Ayase Nana here ♡
Just increase her allowance fairly.
Treat restaurant staff properly,
use a condom properly,
drive gently, and so on.
If you treat her well and raise her allowance,
Ayase Nana will stay by your side for a long time.
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I’m Flag Maker, a column writer.
It’s only a matter of when, not if, they’ll leave, so there’s no point trying to stop it.
Just wave them off with a cheerful, “Bye-bye!”
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Maezawa from the President’s Office here.
Even just from reading your question, I get the impression that you’re the type to act on your own assumptions and do whatever you want.
You may never be told why a woman who was seeing you pulled away, so I think it’s fine to make guesses. However, when you’re making those guesses, it doesn’t seem like you’re taking her actions into account.
Did she often bring up the fact that the allowance wasn’t enough when you met? Were there any other signs from her?
Even if you didn’t notice them at the time, when you look back, you can often identify things that may have been signs.
I think you should reconsider those signs and use them to figure out what you can do differently.
From what you wrote, I get the impression that you weren’t thinking about the woman herself. Try listening more closely to what she’s saying and noticing the subtle signs—in short, make more of an effort to really observe her.
Once you’ve learned to treat women kindly, the next step is to ask yourself whether you’re kind to people other than women as well. Women are watching for that too.
Keep working on yourself.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
If you’re not compatible personality-wise or don’t click at the hotel, then no matter how much you spend, you’ll just end up being an ATM.
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I’m a male member named Paper Airplane.
If she doesn’t feel comfortable with you, nothing you do will work.
But when you really click, I think she won’t drift away—or won’t be able to pull away…
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I’m a losing player as a male member.
Women probably evaluate their papa (male supporter) overall when deciding whether to keep him or let him go.
The allowance matters, of course, but they’re also checking countless other things, such as:
- Whether he talks down to them
- Whether the dates are always just about sex
- Whether he takes care with his personal hygiene and appearance
- Whether he messages them too often on LINE
- Whether he avoids walking around town with them
And so on. There are tons of things they look at.
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I’m Kazu, a male member.
Why go out of your way to split the allowance into different categories to make it seem larger? Wouldn’t it be simpler just to increase the allowance?
Money may help keep someone around, but I believe the key is how you use it. Besides, an allowance won’t solve every problem.
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