Would it be better not to give him a letter as a present?
He’s in his 50s and has enough money to buy himself anything. Since he’s married, I’m thinking of avoiding gifts that leave a physical reminder behind, so I’m planning to have a surprise cake brought out at the hotel he reserved for us.
But I felt that alone might be a little underwhelming. If I add a message card with a short note, would he have to throw it in the trash because he couldn’t take it home?
Would it be safer to just give him the cake?
We’ve been seeing each other for a year, and he gives me more than enough allowance through our monthly arrangement.
He’s told me, “My wife and I were never able to have children, and I want to keep you by my side for the rest of my life, so if you ever want children, tell me anytime.” We’re so in love that I’ve even found myself thinking I might genuinely want to have a child with him. At least, that’s how we both feel right now (lol).
I’m Joe, a male member.
I’m someone who loves writing letters—I’ve even written more than 500 in a single year—so I’d be happy to receive one. However, since the person you’re seeing is married, and if he’s a scatterbrain like me, it might be best either not to give him one or to have him read it on the spot and take it home with you. Scatterbrains like us aren’t very good at keeping things under control.
Everyone’s different, but I love surprises, so I’d be happy to receive a cake too. I think the most important thing about a present is the thought behind it.
My girl surprises me every year on my birthday, so I always look forward to it. The surprises have been getting more elaborate, though, so I imagine it must be a lot of work for her.
I hope you have a wonderful time.
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A surprise cake you bought should be more than enough.
Even if she can’t take the letter home, I think it would be fine as long as she reads it there. If you tell her, “You can leave the letter here if you’d rather,” to avoid putting her in an awkward position, that might make the gesture seem even more heartfelt—but maybe that’s overdoing it.
The three answers so far have all been different, so I really think what people appreciate varies from person to person.
If I were a guy, I wouldn’t want a homemade cake, personally. Unless she was practically a professional baker, of course.
Marika
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I’m Dai, a male member.
A married man probably wouldn’t normally take a letter home.
And rather than buying a cake, making one yourself might help convey your appreciation more clearly.
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