I always give the allowance at the end of our time together. From a woman’s perspective, would it be better to receive it at the beginning??

I’m Dai, a male member. I always pay afterward, and I’ve never had any problems. The other day, I tried paying a Type B woman upfront, but it didn’t feel particularly rewarding at all. If you’re concerned about how she’ll feel, I think you should pay upfront.

I’m a male member and basically a loser. For my regular partners on a pay-per-meeting arrangement, I give them the next allowance at the end of our adult date. For the first adult date, I usually hand it over before we go to the room—for example, after dinner. Even if it’s late, I give it to her as soon as we enter the room. For regular partners on a monthly arrangement, I give them the following month’s allowance at the end of each month. It can also serve as a parting payment when we decide to go our separate ways. I can’t do payment afterward—it makes me too anxious. I find myself worrying about how the woman feels. If I were doing mama-katsu and an older mama paid afterward, I wouldn’t be able to get in the mood either. Since I couldn’t do a pseudo-romantic relationship with a mama, I feel the same way about papa-katsu and always pay upfront. I also paid upfront with the three women who developed genuine feelings for me, so in my case, paying upfront didn’t automatically make it a transactional relationship. I suppose it might be acceptable to start by paying upfront and building a good relationship, then switch to paying afterward partway through.

I’m a male member, Paper Airplane. For the first meeting, I think it’s fine to hand over the allowance upfront. It can help her feel more at ease. That said, agreeing on the amount in advance and paying upfront can make the whole thing feel very much like a sex-service transaction. If you also want to enjoy a more natural dating vibe, ideally you’d become closer, move naturally toward an adult relationship without discussing the allowance, and give it to her afterward. I especially recommend this approach with women you really like—those you’re exceptionally fond of and would like to see for a long time. For someone you like but not to that extent, though, paying upfront may be the safer option.

If it’s someone you’ve been seeing regularly and who always gives you your allowance properly at the end, then either way should be fine. With someone you’re meeting for the first time, I think they’ll feel more at ease if you receive it upfront. Personally, I don’t mind either way, but I’ve seen questions on Q&A sites from people saying they only received 10,000 yen afterward, or that they got 30,000 yen because they hadn’t discussed the allowance, but were still made to pay for the hotel. — Marika

I’m Aya, a female member. I always received my allowance when we were about to part ways. I never asked when they would give it to me, so it just happened that all of my papas gave it to me at the end. My thinking was that by trusting my papa from the very beginning, regardless of what kind of person he was, I could set myself apart from women who made the relationship feel more transactional. That said, I think most people feel more reassured when they receive their allowance upfront.