I saw a post saying that cheating should be forgiven, but don’t you feel anything about making your wife or partner think that you’re probably cheating and spending enjoyable time with another woman? I believe betrayal is a very serious offense. Though I doubt there are any women who would actually forgive it. Are you here because you’re prepared to end the relationship if necessary? I’d appreciate hearing your thoughts.

I’m columnist Fuu. The answer is something you need to decide for yourself, in your own heart. People have all kinds of views: - Some can forgive it. - Some can’t. - Some say it’s fine as long as it’s kept from them. - And some don’t allow their partner to see anyone else in the first place. There are probably many different opinions. Since this is a papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) Q&A forum, many people here are looking to forgive—or to be forgiven—so the answers are likely to be biased. Are you going to leave because you’re hurt and angry? Or will you forgive him because the terms—money, looks, and personality—are good? That’s for you to decide. As for cheating or an adult relationship (intimate), it can’t happen unless there’s another woman involved. So I think it’s simply a reality that there are a certain number of women who are willing to accept that kind of cheating.

Seattle. Makeo-san’s Type A girl is cute. She may be Type A, but cheating isn’t allowed, huh? Cheating is a no-no. Haha. Makeo-san, give your Type A girl a huge allowance and make sure she has a great time. Thanks to you, the Japanese economy keeps turning.

I’m Kamihikōki, a male member. Of course, no woman would forgive him, but women also want to believe in the man, so they often end up hating the other woman instead. “She’s the one at fault…”—and before you know it, it escalates into an intense battle between the women… The man is actually the one most at fault, but he somehow stays completely out of the line of fire… Still, women’s battles can be absolutely brutal… It’s incredible.

I’m Dai, a male member. I’ve never cheated while married. I’m saying this as someone with that experience: whether to forgive or not isn’t about the benefits involved—it’s a matter between the people concerned. And what’s the point of attacking the questioner by asking whether the person having the affair feels guilty or is prepared to end the relationship? It’s just like the “self-appointed COVID patrols” during the pandemic—the questioner is simply putting themselves in a superior position and indulging in a little self-satisfaction. Please stop meddling where you’re not wanted.

I’m a male member—and a complete loser. I have absolutely no excuse to offer. Even if it’s through a dating club, cheating is the worst. In my case especially, I’m the absolute worst: despite having a dating partner—who I’ll call Ace—whom I vowed to stay with for life, even going so far as to establish a company and proceed with dividing our assets, I’m seeing about ten other women at the same time. The only recent change in my mindset is that I now only make offers to Type A women. Of course, even if they’re Type A, from Ace’s perspective it’s still plainly cheating, so it’s not something I can be forgiven for. Also, one of the Type A women I’ve started seeing is an incredibly serious and sincere girl. She’s already told me that she really wants me to stop cheating, which has made me reflect on what the hell I’m doing. Actually, I’m not reflecting at all, am I...? Incidentally, I encourage women I’ve met through the dating club and am seeing in an adult relationship (intimate) to have another papa (a male supporter). I even introduced Ace to one potential boyfriend who might be suitable as a marriage partner. Not that this justifies anything... Come to think of it, I wonder whether the person who posted that four-character question, “Die already!” is doing okay. I liked that question, so I wish it hadn’t been deleted and could have stayed up. ■Seattle When a Type A girl asked me, “Could you please not cheat on me?” I was so unbelievably touched. It had incredible impact. At my age, I nearly died on the spot. Without thinking, I replied, “I’ll quit the club,” and she was absolutely delighted. Then she started making comments hinting at an adult relationship (intimate), which surprised me all over again. I’m not quitting the club, though (← terrible), but I’ve decided not to make offers to anyone other than Type A women.

I’m Kazu, a male member. Even if you have a wife or partner, I believe both people should have time for themselves. I think it’s fine to spend that “personal time” enjoying yourself with another woman. Since it goes both ways, I also think it’s fine for my wife or partner to spend hers enjoying herself with another man. So while I’m curious about what they might be looking for that they can’t get from me, that’s about all I care about. If my wife or partner can’t accept how I choose to spend that “personal time,” she may decide to end the relationship. If she can’t accept it, there’s not much I can do. But when that happens, I would like her to take some time to think about what that “something” was that she couldn’t get from me. For the record, I’ve never had multiple relationships when no allowance was involved. I find working more enjoyable and rewarding than trying to woo women and have sex with them.