Can women who look strong-willed still be unpopular even if they’re attractive? I’m 20, and I’m hardly popular at all. I often get complimented on my looks. I’ve also had some cosmetic work done, though… At Universe, I was Platinum. I hate to say it myself, but I think I have a fairly cute face. My papas even say things like, “You must be really popular at university, right? Guys must hit on you all the time.” But I’m not popular at all.
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Honestly, my attitude is completely different around men my own age than it is around my papas. With my papas, I’m always smiling, sitting up straight, and making eye contact while I talk to them. But around guys my age, I’m constantly looking at my phone, crossing my legs, and barely making eye contact.
People often tell me I look strong-willed. I’ve also been told that I look like I work at a host club or go to host clubs, so I guess I must come across as having a really bad personality. In reality, I’m just an ordinary college student.
My papas have never said anything like that to me. On the contrary, they only say positive things, like “You’re like an idol,” “You’re a goddess,” or “You’re an angel.”
Could it really be because of the difference in how I treat them?
To be honest, a friend who isn’t as cute as me is extremely popular. Once, I happened to hear her talking on the phone with a male friend, and even though he was just a friend, she was using this really sweet voice. She was completely different from how she acts when she’s with me.
Is being popular or unpopular really not about your looks? Can women who look strong-willed or mean fail to attract people even if they’re attractive?
I’m Maezawa from the CEO’s office, and I’ll answer this one too.
> I always smile, sit up straight, and look my papas in the eye when I talk to them. But with men my own age, I’m constantly looking at my phone, cross my legs, and barely make eye contact.
I’m not really sure why you change your attitude depending on who you’re with.
And if you’re aware that you’re doing it, then with men your own age too, you could try to:
- always smile,
- sit up straight, and
- look them in the eye when you speak.
That seems like it would be a good approach.
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I’m Aya, a female member.
Based on your question, I feel the reason you’re not popular with men is probably one of these:
- You have an unnatural-looking, surgically created double eyelid and an overly augmented nose, giving you a scary appearance.
- You have a bad attitude.
Young guys like girls who smile and look “naturally” cute, so it’s different from the nightlife or adult-entertainment world, where a heavily altered look may be well received.
That said, if you treated men your own age the way you treat your papas, I think you’d become a little more popular.
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I’m paper airplane, a male member.
When you’re young, simply being beautiful doesn’t necessarily make you especially popular with men your own age.
As men, we have plenty of opportunities to meet people when we’re young, and we naturally develop feelings for women we meet in our everyday lives. We don’t fall for women with bad attitudes.
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I’m Dai, a male member.
Whether someone is popular or not isn’t determined by their looks alone.
Strong-willed women can also seem unapproachable.
Since you’ve had cosmetic surgery as well, you may come across even more like a hostess at a cabaret club.
That type is uncommon at universities, so ordinary men may be even less likely to approach you.
Actually, isn’t that attitude meant to keep men from approaching you in the first place?
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With men her own age, she’s constantly looking at her phone, crossing her legs, and barely making eye contact.
→ As you’re writing this, don’t you realize it yourself?
How would you feel if someone treated you that way face-to-face?
But perhaps it’s fine since, unconsciously, she knows how to act appropriately toward people who give her money.
Akari
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Girls who seem approachable are popular, while girls who seem unapproachable aren’t.
Men make a move because they think, “Maybe I have a chance.”
If there’s no chance, they won’t pursue her.
My semi-ace girl is pretty gorgeous, but apparently she isn’t popular at university.
She has slightly sharp features, so I wonder if the male students are thinking:
“There’s no way I could hit on a beautiful woman with such an intimidating face.”
My ace, on the other hand, is popular with everyone.
She’s cute, and she’s completely approachable.
You need to make an effort to seem more approachable.
I’m not talking about your personality, but about giving men an opening.
A cute woman who seems unapproachable
An average-looking woman who seems approachable
Of course the latter is more popular.
Especially since college guys these days are all so cautious and passive, I think only the latter type gets popular.
—Loser Guy
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I’m Date◎Yume, a male member.
Looks are very important when you’re first deciding whether someone seems like your type.
After that, though, appearance isn’t that important. I focus more on the person themselves—their perspective, way of thinking, attitude, and so on.
Though I suppose that makes it sound like a job interview...
> Isn’t whether someone is popular or not about more than just their looks? Even if a woman is attractive, will she be unpopular if she comes across as strong-willed or has a bad personality?
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I’m timid and can’t even say half of what I want to say to younger women, so when I think, “I’d prefer someone even cuter,” I end up keeping my distance.
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