I’ve been seeing a woman through papa-katsu (compensated dating in Japan) for about two months. Because of her difficult family situation and the fact that she’s practically living away from home, I rented her a monthly apartment.
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We keep in frequent contact every day and have built a good relationship. However, she told me from the start that she hates lies, and I believed and trusted her. Recently, though, she’s been lying more often, and I’m starting to feel like I can’t trust her.
Do you think I should end the relationship in this situation?
The lies are minor ones, like saying she was sleeping when she was actually playing games or doing something at home.
I’m Ayase Nana ♡
You should really stop making offers to women who seem that troubled. The side of her you don’t see could be frightening—there’s probably more darkness there than you realize. I think you’re better off staying away.
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My view is that a man who could change his mind after just two months shouldn’t have put a runaway woman up in a monthly apartment in the first place—but I realize that doesn’t really answer your question.
Marika
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I’m Joe, a male member.
Sorry for the harsh comment.
I believe anonymous forums serve a purpose beyond simply asking questions—they can also provide emotional support. Activities through the club are generally personal matters, and I understand that it may be difficult to discuss them with others.
That said, in my view, there are limits to everything. Asking whether you should break up or not makes me seriously question whether you have any common sense left. Also, although it may be unavoidable in this kind of relationship, I’m not particularly fond of using the term “cut someone off.”
I realize this is a harsh opinion, but I hope you’ll forgive me. I’d appreciate it if you could understand that I’m also saying this as a reminder to myself.
I hope your relationship continues to go well.
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I’m Shingo Lee, a columnist.
Girls aren’t liars.
They genuinely believed it was true at the time.
Even if they later realize they were wrong, admitting it would mean acknowledging that, as a result, they lied—so they don’t admit it.
Ultimately, their truth is: “I didn’t lie. I just haven’t admitted that I was wrong.”
You should only trust someone to the extent that you’re willing to be deceived.
“To trust” means thinking, “If I get fooled, so be it.”
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Silently forgive women’s lies.
That ↑ is the only weapon an older guy has, so how do you plan to fight after throwing it away?
My favorite girls tell me plenty of lies.
But it’s precisely because I’ve always forgiven them with a smile—or simply in silence—that they’ve kept me around.
—A man who’s lost.
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That’s for you to decide. If you can’t forgive them, I think it’s best to cut ties.
If by “messaging frequently” you mean things like starting with “What are you doing now?” and making you feel like you have to reply immediately when you’re awake—or constantly asking for every little detail,
then when you have something else you want to do, feel bothered, or feel like you’re being monitored,
you might end up saying:
“I was asleep.”
But would you really ask enough questions to find out that was a lie?
There’s always a reason behind things.
I think it would be better for both of you to end a relationship that makes you uncomfortable.
—Akari
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